“Forsooth, tis better to dump than be dumped..”
When I think back to some of the shorter relationships I’ve held down (the relationships, not the boys, ok!) I feel somewhat ashamed at my re/actions when things ended..
At this time, ya know what? Omigoodness they seemed 110% ok as far as reactions go ! It’s only now in the interests of being painfully honest with myself as I write this blog – do I go “omigawd” .. And want to hide from shame!
Take, for example: Jared.
OH MY but he was a hottie and I lusted for him beyond comprehension. Thoughts of that boy made me weak @ the knees. His smile made me quiver. Or melt.. Or both..
He was from one of the Suthern states of the US of A and had an accent that (especially when combined with his smile) could melt granite.
He was ex-military so had a body that was simply begging to be molested (by me, that is!) He called me Ma’am when I was cross with him. (Cos he knew it’d make me go all gooey) He treated me like a goddess.
He was a heady & sexy mix of apple pie, family 1st, honor and all that is adorable. In short: he was to-die-for.
Our relationship was amazing.
We spent every hour of the day and night together as and when we could. And we worked hard to get that time in! Nothing got in our way.. Or if it did, we both lamented it and made up for it by overdosing the next day.
Then one day, without warning he stopped returning my calls, my texts and my emails.
I never heard from him again.
Not thru lack of bloody trying though! I would have called his phone number approx. 285,969,90 times .. in the first day .. like I said “shameful!”
When I think about how I offer such goooood advice to friends of mine who are hurting because of some schlep male and his actions and I parrot out the old:
“You’re better off without him. You were too good for him. Obviously he wasn’t that into you. This is a good thing for all you can’t see it yet”.
The reality is, at the time – it doesn’t feel like you’re too good for them.. You’re not better off without them. And as for him not being into me, well he freaking well was totally into me .. ’til he ditched my ass so SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT CHANGED!?
I think that’s the key isn’t it folks.
What the heck changed?
When that question is answered, somehow a break up is a little less painful. Somehow you can rationalise it and go “OK it didn’t work for X, Y and / or Z reasons, I can see that … ish .. “
As you cry and stomp and sulk and fret and over-analyse and worry and generally feel your world crumbling around you..
I suspect this (and other unpleasant break ups I’ve experienced) could be one of the reasons why I end relationships ASAP I feel they’re losing their gloss. Everyone knows it’s better to be the dumper than the dumpee, after all.. right?