When is it the right time to break up?


I found myself driving away from the marital home today pondering: when is the best time to end a relationship?

Is it best to do it when you sense it’s heading down that irreconcilable path of nothing-ness. You don’t fight, you’re not miserably unhappy. But you’re not happy either.

Or do you hang in there, leaving only when you both are so over it you heave a sigh of relief that it’s over? i.e.: it’s obvious therefore it’s easier to say “let’s not do this any more”.

It seems that my personal preference, looking back over my major break-ups, is to do it early. It’s fair to say that this approach has it’s drawbacks as the other person generally wont be where you are, emotionally – therefore the shock element is simply mammoth for them and the whole thing is terribly emotional and painful.

However, there’s something very unappealing to me about staying with someone, doggedly avoiding the fact that you’re in a sad or unhappy relationship. Or even just a relationship that’s gone flat. Like a bottle of coke that’s been left sitting for too long..

Which got me to thinking. Do all relationships eventually lose their appeal .. but everyone just kinda hangs in there refusing to admit it or says it’s just “part of being together” as they reconcile themselves to a (love) life quite ordinary?

I don’t know the answer to that and I’m afraid this post may make me seem awfully selfish but you know what?

It’s MY life, I only get one shot a this (that I am aware of) and so with that in mind: I kinda figure it’s ok to aim high. To dream. To seek something wonderful.. Sure I may not ever get it, but I am damned if I will give up trying!

I suspect my next post will be about my thoughts following a comment my ex made to me about my personality type meaning I will always flame brightly .. then crash & burn .. he was pissy, need we say  more lol

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About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on July 31, 2011, in Happy-ness, Life, Optimism and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I think most people are into dragging it out because we’re all masochists.

  2. It sounds a bit like there is oxygen in your air again. Good for you.

  3. Whether in love or otherwise, all relationships are likely to come to an end but they necessarily don’t have to. As for being in love, I guess familiarity breeds contempt. You know each other like the back of your palm, then you take the other for granted.

  1. Pingback: Breaking up (r) « lifeinthefarcelane

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