A good long term relationship – Mission impossible?
My ex recently sent me an email saying he felt I was destined to experience short-lived, exciting times with men, but never a long-term [good] relationship.
We’d been together almost 8-years when I ended things last month.. He didn’t see it coming and he’s feeling a tad pissy.
Back in our early weeks, months and I’d even say we managed to go into years – we’d been fabulous. And this was against my better judgement.. hmm, I better back up: so I met this guy online .. We chatted for some weeks and they were great weeks. He gave great email!
Without going into personal details, our first mtg was an entire week of smiles and enjoyment. I was actually casually seeing someone else, someone probably more suited to me – but this guy came along and literally swept me off my feet.
I well recall the exact moment I decided “I’m going to give this a go!” It felt good.. And I truly gave it my best shot..
Interestingly, I don’t think I really can pin point the exact moment when I realised it was over, I think it was more a series of non-events that made me go ‘oh’ til I started to evaluate things and realised it (us) was not working any more.
So, is it possible he’s right? Do I constantly crave the “beginning” phase of a relationship? It is a lovely phase, those early days of a new relationship, let’s be honest! Who doesn’t enjoy those days!?
But having done some soul searching this last few days, I don’t think it’s a fair assessment, especially not in this case.. If I’d ended the relationship 8 days or 8 weeks into it, I could perhaps understand. But 8-years can hardly be called “a flash in the pan!”
You know what though? I really do want to know how happy couples keep their relationships flourishing.
What stops their relationship from drifting slowly into that wasteland of “existance” as opposed to those wonderful early days in a relationship when the mere thought of the other makes for slightly smug smiles and warm fuzzies?
Something tells me it’s not attainable, but for now I think I will continue to hope it is ..