Trashing the memories..

According to feng shui beliefs, one shouldn’t keep mementos from old relationships as the energy probably isn’t positive and it just isn’t the done thing.

It’s fair to say I am struggling to throw away the beautiful diamond ring we had made for an engagement ring. The photographs (of us and activities, holidays, with friends etc) and assorted little “trinkets” collected over the last 8 or so years.

I feel a profoundly deep sense of sadness at the moment. 

I guess it’s not helped by the fact that I’m in our house, that we bought and renovated together – sorting through the debris he left behind when he moved out. The debris that was once our lives.

My emotions swing from anger to distress to smiles as I remember pleasant things then next thing you know I am crying like a baby. The word roller coaster comes to mind.

It’s quite hard to handle for this normally very logical and rational female! How the heck people LIVE their lives like this is beyond me, I’m exhausted lol

I want to learn something from this experience. I’m not entirely sure what though..

At my irrational / emotional times – I want to become bitter and cold and refuse to engage in relationships ever again. Staying single, not risking the whole break up thing ever again.

In my more rational moments I accept that I just love to be in love. Those heady first days and kisses, the learning about each other. It’s fabulous and I want to experience all that again.

BUT I want it to last.. So, HOW do I do that..!?

That’s what I keep coming back to, don’t I.

Maybe that is what I wish to learn from this experience..  How to keep my relationship from becoming boring, stale and not something I enjoy being 1/2 of. How to stop it from ending..

Anyone got the user guide, I’m completely confused..


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on September 3, 2011, in Grief, Hope, Love, Optimism, Relationships, Stress and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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