Boys with “Mother” issues

Now see I made a joke about the fact all the guys I’ve seriously dated had poor or odd relationships with their mothers, but I’ve been thinking about it some more and it IS something I need to work on.

Therefore the questionnaire for any potential male company in my life now will start with: “Do you love your Mom?” If they reply yes, then clearly the next question needs to go something like “er, how much exactly .. ?” really .. 😉

So anyway we’ve identified that a man who has mother issues is a man who may have girlfriend/partner issues. I know. I’m amazing.. it’s a gift.

All jesting aside: the reality is I DO like to nurture (trying not to call it “mother!”) people I care about. Doesn’t matter if you’re a friend, male or female. A lover. A colleague. If I decide I like you – I then feel the urge to take care of you.

I remember one lover I had who was particularly adorable – he was a nurturer too – and we damn near killed ourselves taking care of everything for the other. It was hilarious. To this day we’re still really good friends .. so long as I can bake him some cookies and he can fix my car 😉

The issue with being a care-giver / nurturer – call it what you will – is that you start out in the full throes of love and devotion and the recipient of your love sits back and goes “oo-fucken-rah” as they are taken care of beyond their wildest dreams. I have even warmed a man’s slippers before the fire .. I know.. You wanna puke, sorry .. 😉

What can I say – it is something I get a lot of pleasure out of doing. Nurturing, not heating slippers!

BUT – and herein lies the rub: at some point in every relationship I sit back and go “WTF?” as the guy laps up this atttention I’m lavishing (of my own free choice, I acknowledge this) and whilst going “WTF?” I tend to delve deeper into the whole deal and end up feeling pissy because I feel taken advantage of.

I’m the one with the problem:
A reverse Mother issue!?


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on September 11, 2011, in Happy-ness, Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Relationships, Stress and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I’m not sure I’ve ever met a guy without mother issues. If your lucky they’ll just want you to be a carbon copy of mummy, so much so Freud would be proud.

  2. I read your blog earlier this afternoon. I was not sure if I liked it or not. After awhile, I started thinking about it. I decided it may have hit a little too close to home. I am not ready to move on yet but heading that way as my daughter gets older. I have decided to follow your blog. Maybe I can live my life vicariously through your new experiences. tee hee.

    • OK now I have to go read all your blog damnit woman! *grins* LOL @ not liking mine .. I hate when a post from some random person makes you go “what the?!” .. Actually I hate that anytime! Blogs or not .. Will I learn how old your daughter is on your blog? Or can I ask here/now? Thanks for the follow 🙂

  1. Pingback: Love or Sex – Which is best? « lifeinthefarcelane

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