I don’t hate you, let’s stay together

When that flush of fabulous starts to wane and you’re left with a guy who now never brings you flowers.. never notices when you’ve had your hair done.. a meal out is at the local burger joint and (worst of all?) you no longer go weak at the knees when he smiles at you – because he doesn’t, he’s too busy watching telly.. What do you do?

What SHOULD you do?

I have no idea .. so don’t expect any helpful advice here k, I’m one who gets to this point in a relationship all too often and then I find myself ending it, wondering “hmm what went wrong?” As I stumble off into the world of being single once more ..

But maybe nothing went wrong?

Maybe that’s how it is for everyone?

Maybe life comes along, familiarity takes over and it’s impossible to have those halcyon days of “before”. But instead of finding it impossible to contend with, like I do – sensible people “accept” it and that becomes their way of being, that defines their relationship. They accept it as it is..

Now for me, acceptance is a-whole-nother topic! But let’s just say that I’m not very good at acceptance. To me it’s damn near the same as “desperation”, but couched in a way to make the accepting person feel less .. crummy.

Should we just put up with relationships going from amazing to acceptable? Is the pinnacle of a successful long term relationship simply: 

“I don’t hate him / her”?

Call me a dreamer, but I’d like more ..


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on September 14, 2011, in Change, Grief, Happy-ness, Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Optimism, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SETTLE! I think the only thing in the world you have to be is honest; about who you are and what you want. This is YOUR life to live as YOU want to. You owe no one; not your parents, your friends or your partner anything but honesty. I would much rather a man say to me, “I loved you once but not anymore. I wish I felt differently. I’m sorry,” than to have him just give up and sit around and fake it until he finds someone better. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be alone.

  2. THANK YOU! I have had this conversation with family SO many times “well it’s about compromise” yes I accept (hah) that but there are some things one should NOT compromise.. Surely!? For all that it may seem shallow to them if I end a relationship because it wasn’t all that, I often suspect it makes them feel bad more because they’re not brave enough to do it themselves!

  3. You remind me of friends who wanted All Wonderful All the Time. They found it too… until he wiped out their bank accounts and moved on to another victim. Just be sure that when you look for more that you do so with your eyes wide open.

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