“I disappear into the person I love .. I am your permeable membrane .. if I love you, you can have it all .. <snip> I will give you all this and more until the only way I can recover is by becoming infatuated with someone else..”
Life in the slow lane last night saw me watching a movie the name of which eludes me but it had Julia Roberts drifting around trying to find herself in Europe.
Now this movie pissed me off for a number of reasons not the least being the fact that the rest of us have to “find ourselves” during the evenings after work, or whilst being single parents or whatever. Poor baby in Roma.. !
But also I get the feeling she did still love her husband and that they get back together before the movie ends. I dunno.. I stopped watching it part way when I realised it was putting me off my tea.
However, for all I criticise the movie, the lines I’ve quoted below made me actually rewind to listen again.
I disappear into the person I love. Translation: I stop being me.. I am swallowed up into your world. I am not important, you are. I’m lost but in love. I love it but I hate it ..?
If I love you, you can have it all. Translation: This one confuses me. You can have what all? Me? My heart, my devotion, my adoration .. ? My self worth .. ? What do you think this line means?
I will give you this and more til I become bored. Translation: I’m right, in altering this one yes?Infatuation indicates it wasn’t love, right? So the entire sentence is bollocks really.
But the key message is: What I offer (i.e.: what I DO of my own volition) is unsustainable and I can’t maintain it so I end things and go find someone else to lavish all my love and attention on. Whether the poor bastard is ready for it, wants it or can take it!
I think the 1st and last lines really resonated with me when I think about my relationship history. I do get lost in my man when I think I love him. It’s all consuming. I’m like a spotty 19yo virgin who’s just dying to meet Mr Right, do the white picket fence, labrador, 2.5 kids, cup cakes and happily ever after.
Problem is I get bored because I pick the wrong guy? I get bored because he isn’t feasibly able to sustain the amount of attention I seek in exchange for what I give him even tho he didn’t even want or need what I gave him?
Somewhere in the dim recesses of my mind a light bulb is starting to flicker .. I need to think on this some more cos I think Julia may just have helped me stumble across one of the things that fucks up so many of my relationships ..
Posted on September 27, 2011, in Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Optimism, Rants, Relationships and tagged Happiness, Hope, Humor, Life, Love, Quotes, Random Thoughts, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.