The other woman

Big announcement: I’ve decided I am going to be “her“. Yeppers .. I’m gonna have affairs with married men. Now before you go all “shock horror, oh what is she thinking ..” on me. I want you to stop a moment and think about it with me, ladies:

He won’t want to stay the night, hog the bed or do anything else in the bed.. except shag you senseless, of course.

He sure as heck won’t want you to have babies..

He will be attentive, it’ll be like a 1st date every time. Simply because it’ll always be ‘novel’ due to irregularity.

You will be showered with gifts because he’ll mistakenly think he has to. (His wife has done the training for you there)

He’ll occasionally go on business trips – hello, all expenses paid holidays for you!

So maybe you’ll feel a little bit odd, as he showers away the evidence before heading home to the missus. He’ll not be able to call you in the evenings cos the wife and /or kids could hear. God help you if you get caught out, he may wanna be with you then (he’ll lose his home, after all) cos then you’re with a cheater, wooo .. Oh yeah and he’ll never be able to spoon you to sleep ..

Ah hell who am I kidding. What a shit set-up that would be. It was the spooning that threw me, I coulda handled the rest I am sure .. ish ..


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on October 4, 2011, in Happy-ness, Humour, Life, Love, Rants, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Yeah, I have to admit, the sleeping alone part kind of sucks. But I’d rather be alone than someone’s second choice, I think.

  2. Fun post. Glad I fell upon it!

  3. Shock! Horror! What are you thinking!

  4. How very dare I *what*, exactly?

  5. It gets sour now and then … like now when it’s cold out and I am thirsty and don’t wanna go out but did I mention earlier thirsty comment? 😉

  1. Pingback: Do you think I should? « lifeinthefarcelane

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