Love or Sex – Which is best?

I know which is easier to er .. come by .. shall we say. I’ve dated powerful men with large .. bank accounts .. I’ve dated men with fast cars .. I’ve dated sweet men .. Heck I’ve dated men with both large cars and reasonable sized bank accounts ..

I’m trying to think if I’ve dated a man who’s poor but no, I don’t think I have. I probly scare them .. lots. And for the record, I aint that scary! For example: I do not have a shoe fetish.

I have 6 pairs of shoes. 1 is my fave: Galoshes /  Gumboots – whatever you call them. Another is sneakers / running shoes. Do the math. I only wear shoes to stop people going “oh look there’s that chick in barefeet” at the office.

ANYWAY this is about sex or love and which is best. Having done both (I think) I could be qualified to speak on this somewhat mysterious topic ..

Personally, I am a fan of love. For all I have no freaking idea what that actually entails. I’ve more than once thought I did. I’ve even attempted to “brand” love with my own ideas. Or ideas given to me by generations of messed up women in my family.

As previously stated (in other posts) I’ve warmed a man’s (my ex husband, for context!) slippers before.  I’ve put his life (and everything) before my own needs. I’ve lost myself in “him”. And don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed some of that.

And I’ve done it to other men, not just my ex-husband.

But ultimately, I became bored, unhappy or just found it all a bit “empty”. That’s when I realised sex had it’s own lil thing going on.. sans love.

Cos I’ve also done the mindless shag. The one night stand. The several night stand . . ie I’ve met men and had awesome fun with them .. without the emotional “stuff” of anything more than what we’re apparently hard wired to do.

So tell me .. which was best?

Oh damn. You wanted me to tell you? Right of course, hence the subject line!

OK .. Um..

I can do this, wait one moment caller ..

Love. mm ..

Love (I think ..) is that moment you happily lose yourself in them. Ie the moment you’re at the most risk, I know.  I think love is when you simply cannot imagine a moment without them. When they smile at you and make you melt.

When their kiss makes you go weak at the knees. Admit it, you’ve been there?
DO IT .. oh wow it’s amazing!

However we come back to my other posts where I say it’s not sustainable .. certainly in my experience .. it isn’t.

And you know what else?

I hate that 😦  Cos I like being in love.

So for all love is fabulous, I do not know at this stage in my journey if it’s attainable or sustainable. But I kinda think it’s worth aiming for, if nothing else ..

Indeed, helpful post of the century .. not!
Sorry ..


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on October 8, 2011, in Humour, Life, Love, Optimism, Rants, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Awww I think it is helpful 🙂 I think its good that you have done both and still think Love is best … its sweet 😛

  2. Sex is best. If I want love I’ll get a dog.

  3. I’ll take lovely sex or sexy love.

  4. I have always been in love with the romance of being in love but after experiencing hurt, I am not so willing to fall in love. A companion/best friend may eventually become my sexual partner but love will definitely take time.

    It is almost impossible for women to be in “sex only” relationships because we are emotional creatures by nature. If a man makes you feel special, you will want more than just sex with him. For the small percentage of women who can maintain emotional distance in a “sex only” arrangement, sex will definitely be easier to “process” than love. Men are physical beings therefore they are able to have “sex only” arrangements without much worry about their emotions creeping in. Bottom line…be true to yourself and respect your strengths as well as your limitations when deciding if you should fall in love or just have sex.

  5. I guess this is down to personal experience. But since I get a chance to comment.

    Sex without Love = Suffering

    Sex with Love = Happiness

  6. How do you stop sex with love turning into sexy suffering?

  7. I’m sorry to read you are so jaded on love. I deeply believe it is sustainable, because I’ve seen others experience this, and the best thing I’ve read in that regard is:

    For it to be sustained I believe there has to be that utter attraction FIRST which is in large part chemistry and genetics.

    Thanks for visiting my blog.

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