Woman: Love thyself

Don’t panic, this isn’t going to be a porno-posting (or self help for frustrated women).. well, yeah it could be termed the latter I suppose.

You see, some comments on a recent post of mine have got me thinking. Moreso than I usually do, which could be good or bad – I am as yet unsure 😉

I love how the people who comment on my blog are generally both humorous and helpful in their thinking. It really is quite awesome .. especially as some of my rants could realistically be met with “harden the fuck up, woman” (or just “fuck up, woman”?!)

This relates back to my “common themes” post, where I lament the fact there doesn’t seem to be a common theme viz it’s harder for me to “FIX” the problem.

However the reality is, I am assured that until I love myself – I cannot find true love.

So to you I ask … how did you find true love? And what does true love mean to you? How do you not get bored? How do you not hate where you’re at such that you leave it?

WHAT makes it work for you?

I am intrigued.

I’ve never been one to much care about what others think. I tend to do my own thing and just figure shit out for me .. but I am learning lots from both emails and comments, so figure why not try it s’more ..

Let’s recap:

I am a reasonably attractive woman. My best friend says I “pull like a tractor”. (She isn’t gay but I do like her best, heh) I am not even <-> this much interested in having babies or white picket fences. Could be good, could be bad, I know.I don’t need you to earn money to support me (and / or my kith and kin). I have a brain. A well utilised one. A job. A well paid one. I am well travelled. Well educated.

But not a wanker, for all these earlier statements..

I do charity work. By choice. Force me to do something and we have a-whole-nother issue. But if I care, you will know. A lot. I take care of those I choose to. I love my country, my family, my friends and my world…

But have no man to do this alongside.
(insert tragic loser musack here)

And yes. I would like a man to go thru life with.


Because I’m hard wired to? Because every girl I went to school with has one? (Happily or otherwise) because I should?


Which comes back to (I told you before, I am logical… sorry) why I can’t find true love. Do I want that or do I want … mm I don’t know ..

Your thoughts?


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on October 19, 2011, in Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Optimism, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. I’m 20, still going to school, but I feel I’m losing out on relationships. I get to like a guy, but something always happens , and it fizzles out. I used not to care about this single blessedness, although friends and acquiantances ask why but now, I’m starting to get defensive. Eh. I hope I’m making sense. lol

    Cheers from California.

    • I’m with you doll .. “something” always happens .. we need to work out that something to see if we can sort it, maybe? I dunno … I don’t MIND being single – like you – but I kinda do like the notion of not being single too… *hugs from the other side of the planet*

  2. Because your looking ahaha, STOP LOOKING, a man will not just appear and be perfect … although some men are the vision of perfection, inside they are made of jelly!! carry on just just figuring shit out for you 😛 ahaha

  3. I don’t think we’re supposed to LOOK for love. How you FIND it? I think it sort of finds you. I really, really believe that we should just LIVE. Do the things we enjoy. Eat what we like. Get fresh air. Be happy. (Not TRY to be happy. BE happy.) Get comfortable with being who we are, regardless of everything else WHILE growing and improving. Being our best selves. Truly love ourselves and our lives. Only then can we really be truly ready and prepared to love anyone else, much less BE loved by anyone else. I really think the problem is LOOKING. Meet people. Hang out. Hang out more with the people you like more. See what happens. No hunting.

    • I live a full and fun life. I have a fabulous circle of friends. A good social life and meet new people all the time simply because I am quite sociable .. so yeah, I have to say there are many awesome things going on around me that I am part of.. That said, I AM hunting .. mentally .. for reasons why I struggle with long term relationships ..

      • Hunting is so harrrd. Maybe I’m just lazy. *shrugs*
        Hope you find what you’re looking for. 🙂

      • lol!@ lazy .. hunting is hard, I agree .. I’ve done hunting and I’ve done “wait and see” in the past .. neither bloody worked so wtf I am gonna keep on keeping on and just see what happens! Dun’ mean I won’t whinge about it every now and then of course 😉

  4. I think ‘true love’ is in the eye of the beholder. Patience is key in any relationship and there is no such thing as ‘the perfect guy/girl/horse’ whatever…keep your heart and soul open to new possibilities and see what happens. That’s all…

  5. You might, after looking deep within, discover that it’s hard to see with a mirror- er, I mean, that you might not actually want a long term serious relationship, you just think you should want one. I have no idea, just throwing it out there, but you might want the variety of two or three different kinds of guys that suit your differing moods or needs at the time – but you think that’s bad, or unladylike of you, or something. But it’s not. It’s perfectly normal. Treat this like some kind of American Idol, or Pop Idol, or whatever, and gradually get rid of a guy every week or two until you’re left with the one guy who has a more varied outlook. And then stalk that guy until he understands that you are never going to let him go no matter where he goes or what he does. Simple!

    • ROTFL .. I must admit you had me nodding right up til the stalking bit.. I am in a line of work that enables me to move from organisation to organisation, making an impact / doing a good job then moving on to the next challenge .. and I can’t bear the idea of being in a permanent role for any one company, so maybe that is a personality flaw of mine that manifests in my personal life also…

      Facebook stalking is all the rage I am told. Facebook freaks me out tho! I think I even made a page once .. then got invited to go farming (Hmm) and gave it up for a bad lark..

      • I just shut down my Facebook page because I may have to file a restraining order against a coworker for stalking. Thank God he doesn’t know I have a blog!

      • ROTFL .. OMG so people really do stalk people? I guess it IS a good way to keep tabs on people cos ppl share SO much on a site like that without thinking, it seems..

      • Last week was the last straw. I drive to work really early, so my car was parked in the lot at six am. What I didn’t know was this guy logged onto his friend’s Facebook page and saw that I was single. He asked me out soon after and I said that even though I was divorced I wasn’t interested in seeing anyone at the moment (the truth) but he wouldn’t take no for an answer and started following me everywhere. So this morning I came back to my car and this dude was asleep in my back seat, using my sweatshirt as a pillow. I grabbed him by his ankles and yanked him straight out onto the ground (making sure I bounced his head off the door frame) and asked him what the hell his problem was. He said that even though I said no, he thought he’d give it another try but fell asleep in my car waiting for me. Then he wanted to know why it took me so long to get back to my car (between you, me and WordPress I changed my schedule to avoid this crazy person). So yeah, no more Facebook.

  6. Wow…sounds like Mr. Hotspur is speaking from experience. Just remember..stalking = restraining orders and those suckers are difficult to erase. Just sayin’….

  7. True love – it is out there! So don’t freaking settle. Check out this sweet story, it is a perfect example that it does exist.
    He passed away first and his monitor was still showing a heart beat, that is when they noticed it was her heart beating into him since they were holding hands.
    How lucky to find that? So, is that what it boils down to? Luck?

  8. I don’t think I’m very helpful. I’ve never been in love so I don’t know what the fuss is all about because I guess I don’t know what I’m missing. I don’t know whether that makes me happy or sad. Lately…sad, I’d say.

What do you think? I'd love to hear from you ..

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