Flings vs. Forever
Harking back to comments from Mr Hot Spur and another online friend recently, I’ve started to ponder the concept of me being fickle. Of me being unable to hold down (pin down, stalk, entrap .. whatever!) a successful relationship.
With anything more meaningful than a loaf of bread and some blue cheese, that is.. You see.. I think they may be on to something!
Last weekend, I was out with friends .. And had a blast. We danced the night away, I recall at one stage being the er, filling .. in a man-wich. It was delicious *grin* It was also safe & fun.. And as the night wore on I collected business cards (that’s how you can tell you’re growed up, ladies – they don’t write it on a receipt in your lipstick, they give you a b/card!) and honestly, I really enjoyed myself for all it was a bit drunken and silly.
But today I asked myself: Am I one of those people who gets bored easily and is this why I can’t do a long term relationship?
And the answer is a resounding NO.
Let’s look back thru’ the annals of time .. cue “reminisce type musack”…(Could use your help here Edward)
1. I like to move house often. My ex-husband would come home and groan, literally, when he’d see a for-sale sign on the fence. I would move house every year or two quite cheerfully.
2. I work in a job that has a limited life span by virtue of what it is. So I come in, do a good job and leave. Collecting friends and colleagues I enjoyed being with, but leaving none-the-less.
3. I well.. actually it’s about here I get messed up. Moreso than usual.
You see, I have done 2x 8 or so year relationships. I have done a variety of shorter term relationships too. I’ve gone a few years at a time on my own, also. Usually as I take stock and do a bit of thinking.
Do I (without knowing it, even) crave the chase / casual relationships vs. having a long term relationship that will ‘stand’ the test of time and not become boring, bad or plain blah?
Cos the chase is great. Or if not the chase – then those heady and wonderful early days of meeting a man you like and exploring each other’s worlds (etc) .. I am often heard whining about how that fades over time..
I know, I know .. we’re meant to enjoy the next phase (plucking each others eyebrows for amusement / something to do?) but I don’t .. I get bored and discontented – there. I said it. I am a bad person. I know.
Which comes back to my question asked so often .. HOW do we stop that boredom setting in?
I’ve done the “new hobbies” bizzo with my longer term relationships. I’ve done the “go out with friends and do my own thing” too .. ie not lived in each other’s pockets..
Neither works, clearly!
What would you suggest as a strategy for a single gal who just can’t hold onto a relationship but kinda thinks she wants to?
Posted on November 2, 2011, in Humour, Life, Love, Optimism, Rants, Relationships and tagged Dating, Humor, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.