Becoming a lesbian
Some of you will recall my first bit of blog-inspired hate mail where I was informed in no uncertain terms that I was never going to ‘land’ a man with my “attitood”. Seems I come across as bitter, cynical and jaded .. (I’m resisting the urge to say “go figure – I’m 40 something, single and wondering wtf is going on in my world”) ..
However, I was cheered up by some of my lovely blog pals including Edward and my online sister (do check their blogs out – I aspire to be as good @writing as them one day!) but as always, I’ve since found myself thinking!
Dangerous, un-chartered territory for my lil bits of grey matter, I tell ya..
And so it is that I find myself thinking maybe I need to become a lesbian.
After all, I can’t find a man that will put up with me (or who I won’t dump within x period of time) so maybe I need to find a woman?!
Sure, I will perhaps need to spend my life totally inebriated (has anyone ever watched a porno sober? The music for a start .. and don’t get me going on the rest of it!) but I could learn to handle that, I’m sure..
How can it be anything but awesome? Think about it ..
I’m more man than woman, I get told this a lot.
I suspect largely due to my potty mouth and penchant for telling ripe jokes. Oh and not giving a shit about housework, shoes and the other ‘stuff’ of so many ‘normal‘ females. I also have a “thing” for Angelina Jolie.
I could kinda imagine being nestled up to a lovely soft bosom and I don’t mind the notion of not waxing my legs every week!
I could so live in jeans all day every day.. and bush shirts / bra-less Tuesdays? I am so there ..
I .. yeah well this is where it all goes pear shaped. Cos I have no idea how to be a lesbian..
As is evidenced by the dreadful list above ..
It is entirely possible that lesbians encounter similar problems to heterosexuals. Someone may or may not be a good communicator. Someone may be useless in the sack.. Someone may be messy, annoying, arrogant, needy, whiny, whatever ..
We’re all different, last I checked .. And so trying to meld two different people together forever is perhaps never going to be a simple undertaking..
Meantime, back to my becoming a lesbian!
How does one become a lesbian? All and any ideas appreciated ..
Posted on November 13, 2011, in Change, Happy-ness, Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Optimism, Rants, Relationships and tagged Blogging, Blogs, Hope, Humor, Lesbian, Life, Love, Random, Rants, Relationships, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.