I suck (and not in that good way)
In my ever so slightly delicate state this morning, I’m making myself something greasy for brunch ~ to stave off the raging monsters that crawled inside my gut while I “slept” last night (laying carpet on my tongue as they went.. bastards) and found myself thinking about a few comments I’d had made to me last evening.
You see, I’m apparently the life and soul of any party. Bloody hell, there is no way to write that without coming across as a totally arrogant wanker. But I do kinda do OK at social gatherings. I can talk to anyone, about almost any subject, I can drink til the last man’s fallen down. I always bring enough to share. And I never ever go near the karaoke machine. I can be all kindsa drunk and I still know I C A N N O T S I N G.
Of course, I think I can dance like a rock star, but that somehow isn’t as bad on you-tube as the singing thing. Just.
Anyway, I digress. I was thinking about the fact that people seem to like me. A couple of people said to me last night – “can’t believe you aren’t married” (this is something apparently all the coolest types are doing? hmm..) Anyway, the whole good friends / great social life thing is a nice place to be and it’s fair to say I’ve perfected it over years of work functions and networking type of stuff.
For all the “can’t believe you’re not married” comments, I have been told before that I can “pull” the boys. No wait, that doesn’t read right! I am oft found in the company of men. Phew that was close.. I must confess, I love men, they’re fabulous. As a rule..
And they do seem to like me. For all they won’t marry me!?! lol this could become a theme, I’ll behave 😉
I think the reason men like me is cos I’m an odd blend of ballsy (but they don’t see me busting theirs) cheeky female. Added to which, I’ve got a horrendously big repertoire of uh, ‘ripe’ jokes. I’m always up for tequila shots (til morning, anyway .. ugh) I’m not the type who gets pissy when a man cusses, even the c-word or sexist statements don’t get to me.
I am probably on the brink of being “one of the boys”, except for the long blond hair and big boobs..
So I have a few good things going for me (blond hair and boobs? Oh and the other stuff I guess) but you know what?
I am a giant pain in the ass, really.
I am a control freak. I like order. Chaos upsets me. It really does. I am not at all spontaneous – I like to plan things out and make sure they go well. I could be a tad stubborn.
And if we go back to the chaos statement: I can’t stand mess. My apartment is always clean and tidy. OK I have a housekeeper but even so.. I need order to feel at peace with the world. My world, anyway 😉
I am ferociously independent. I dislike being told what to do. I am cynical. I am very logical and confident, which I am told comes across as cocky and argumentative now and then. My Mother used to tell me so, god bless motherly honesty 😉
I have a quick but not bad temper. If that makes sense? If I’m gonna go, I’ll go – you will know about it, then we move on.. (I’m just too lazy to maintain it for long) I like to slam doors when I’m really mad, too. Men seem to hate that but honest to god boys, try it – it’s easier than punching walls and generally does less damage too!
As well, as all these bad traits, I get bored easily and don’t forget: I cannot hold a man!
God I’m a catch, alright. Where’s that %$#@! nunnery phone number again?
Posted on December 4, 2011, in Humour, Life, Rants, Relationships, Stress and tagged Arguing. Relationships., Dating, Divorce, Humor, Life, Love, Relationships. Friendship. Dating. Hope. Optimism. Joy. Peace. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.