We’re not exclusive, are we?

Those words were uttered to me this week whilst out to dinner with DTR .. *pours 7th wine* So yeah that was a fun chat, as you can perhaps imagine.. The evening, ’til this point had been lovely.

As always he took me to a fabulous place and was a perfect gentleman and we had fun.. til I sat dumbfounded when (in my obviously shit attempt to bring Xmas plans into the equation) he said those words.

I DID try not to be a complete cock, I swear. It took me a minute or two but I DO think I regained my composure quite quickly and the poor bastard probly has no idea I’m still confused lol

So yeah, could you tell me please .. what the fuck does “exclusive” mean, in this day and age? Cos CLEARLY I have no idea!

To me, exclusive is we’re seeing each other and no one else. Which, by default, is what *I* was doing.. And somewhat foolishly, it’s what I thought he was doing too. Hell, the man emails, texts and sees me so often I dunno how the hell he has time to do..  er, be with anyone else AND me?

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About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on December 11, 2011, in Humour, Life, Love, Rants, Relationships, Stress and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. Gahhhhhhh, I would have been quiet and pouty for the rest of the night.

    [waves wine]

  2. *snatches wine* heheh ..

    See, this is where my poker face does me a disservice, maybe? I just had a nano-second of “fuck” then went back to being “AOK” .. grrr

    Uh, got any Whisky?

  3. Dearie … NO, NO, NO!! You should never start off dating anyone with exclusivity in mind. You must … MUST date a few at the same time until the one you’re quite keen on asks to confirm that both of you are exclusive. Even then, please don’t feel the need to date only one person.

    In fact, you should only be exclusive once the nuptial knots have been tied and the man has signed over all his stuff to your name. I have my own personal views on the subject of marriage but hey, whatever floats your boat. 🙂

  4. Interestingly enough, I was on the flip of that coin. She said that she was stressed because it was moving too fast to which I was dumbfounded. I hadn’t made any real moves towards exclusivity (Considering how AGAINST it she was when two people have just started dating.). Which to be honest is fine with me. We are both in a transitional period where we are getting our lives in order. One date and she kind of flips. I didn’t know how to respond. Felt insulted because the whole time we talked I was pointing out how I had no intentions of rushing into anything…to just take it slow. It has gotten so weird, this dating game.

    Good post. Felt it.

  5. I am the same way. I only date one guy at a time. I have had that question asked to me so many times I have lost count event when I spend more days at his house than I do my own and we are always together, spending five nights a week at each others homes. I think some guys just don’t want to commit and it has been my experience if they ask something like that they have no intention of ever being exclusive.

  6. Can I get all Psychologist on your arse?… Men like to have lots of women due to evolution, they want to spread there little spremies as far as possible so their genes will survive for the next generation whereas women like to keep their men to themselves because they want them to look after their offspring and nobody else’s … Therefore relationships are doomed unless you make it very clear what you want for the start 😀

    • See THIS pisses me off too (not you tho, just so we’re clear!! LOL)

      We can’t make a move too soon or we’ll scare them away.
      But we’re meant to make it clear at the start what we want.

      Well last I checked, the two cannot be achieved which goes back to my last post – I’m fucked. And not in that good way.

      I give up. It’s all too bloody hard.
      *stomps off in a huff*

  7. Do you think he was fishing? Did you ask him if he felt like being exclusive in a playful way, of course? And more importantly has he called yet?

  8. Yes, has he called? Could this be holiday gift buying panic? Is he worried about you will interpret an offering so he is trying to keep meaning light?

  9. Maybe he was fishing to see if you are dating anyone else… Not the most suave way to say it but possible. I know not all guys want to date around and I def disagree with Hoo. You have to find what works for you. Multi dating seems to be all the rage right now.. U’ll see it in blogs & dating books but it hasn’t worked out well for me at all.. I’m OFF that stinky bandwagon.

  10. I’m a very skittish person when it comes to commitment. In other words, even if I want a committed relationship, the moment we call it that I’ll panic and bail. I don’t know if this is what’s happening with him, but it could be.

  11. The whole work of dating is something I’ve never understood.

  12. Perhaps your response should have been “Would you LIKE to be exclusive?” That would’ve sent the ball back to your his side of the court.

    I think that, since you’ve been having such a good time with him, you should continue to see him. But, if someone else asks you out and you have an inkling that it would be a good time, go for it.

    You’re fabulous.

  13. Excluse – people who use it mean “when convenient for me”

  14. That should say exclusive, not excluse. The i and the v key broke off of my computer during passionate love making with 5 beautiful women and myself. Things are back to normal now.

  15. Ok so I’m very behind in my comment commenting, sorry people 😉

    I know it’s probably very bad form to reply all, but oh well!

    Some excellent comments above (LOL@ 5 women moose, you da man, er or moose?) I hadn’t considered the fishing or fear notion. God are men that pathetic? (Sorry men…) That actually pisses me off lol

    As to the whole way I should have replied I LOVE the “do you want to be” and throw the ball back in his court idea. Damnitall. Next time I’m in that situation can you all please come with me??

    Things have been very weird since this night. I’m not cross, or hurt or anything I can pinpoint, I’m just “uncomfortable” now .. since that response. Which is my own stupid thing, he’s probly oblivious to it lol ..

    It’s helped that it’s the peak party season so I’ve been busy and I don’t doubt he has too. I saw him out with some male friends mid-week and he came over and schmoozed for awhile, instructed me to text him and went back to them.

    I haven’t texted yet. I’m unsure why.

    Oh yeah. Boobs. Now I know why. I’m a freakin’ fruit cake. I forgot for a moment.

  1. Pingback: Must .. not .. share .. feelings .. « lifeinthefarcelane

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