Cheery Pissed Miss

Christmas is a fantastic time of year when it comes to social events .. I love it! The rest I can take or leave but the parties, I adore. My regular readers may have picked up on the absence of posts this last couple of weeks – this is largely due to that fact that I’m either going out, planning on going out .. Or recovering from going out 😉

Right now I’m in recovery mode, following the company xmas shingdig that totally went off last evening!

Dressed appropriately .. (It is Christmas after all..)

I made my way to a regular haunt for lunch with a friend. “Wait on a minute!” I can hear you saying .. this is a post about the company xmas party – why are you talking about going out to lunch?

Well a gal’s gotta eat! Keep up will you .. geez!

Now the plan was to go have a nice ladies lunch, then head back to work til the party started at 5.30pm. How does the saying go? Oh yeah “the best laid plans”. Indeed..

You see, it was sunny and warm at lunchtime. We sat outside in the sun and drank a lovely bottle of wine whilst eating our gorgeous lunch. It was very relaxing and a nice way to set the scene for the evening ahead…

As happens in a small town, a few other people turned up over an hour or two and of course – joined us but yeah well, all that means is that all of a sudden it was 7pm and I’d been drinking solidly since 12.30. Mm, I know..

Not to be deterred (more to the point I’d received more than a few abusive texts from colleagues demanding to know where I was!) I finally parted company with my lunch friends and made my way to the party around 7.30pm.

By made, I mean staggered ..

FYI staggering upstairs is no mean feat but that’s not the point .. suffice to say, I got there .. I walked in and promptly rocked up to the bar. Awright, open and free bar … my idea of heaven.

I said I was getting drinks for a group and stumbled away with 4 glasses of champagne (shhh it hurts when I laugh damnit) had a guzzle, then went in search of my pals.

Sadly, they had not been drinking since 12 o’clock, like I had. So I suspect they knew I was 3 sheets to the wind but mercifully they’re polite types and said nothing. Which left the floor open for me to say all kinds of shit and as you all know – I am totally good for that! *sigh*

Without going into gory details, I have this vague memory of blathering away to a high ranking govt official. I think I could see fear in his eyes, but hey maybe he was just thirsty? I am also pretty sure I invited myself to move to Mexico with a very hot chick from finance. Dear god let her be straight and hungover today or I’m in SO much trouble.

As with the best parties I got up this morning and did the whole “hmm what happened..?” musing. Generally this involves checking my iPhone to see who had been the (lucky, of course .. snort) recipient of my drunken texts, going thru my wallet and checking out my receipts and then (always last) checking the camera folder on my phone (ugh) ..

Tis fair to say I was ever so slightly surprised to find my clothes on the floor of the bedroom were soaking wet. I like to think it was something to do with the rain we had overnight and not the fact this party was on the waterfront *grimace* I then walked into my kitchen and found a knife on the floor.. A pile of dishes on the bench .. And some egg shells on the couch. WTF?

Yeah well refer to earlier statement: A gal’s gotta eat! I vaguely recall being ravenously hungry when I got home and deciding to make myself some eggs and toast around 3am. Whoever said “don’t drink and drive” has NO idea .. the real risk is gas cooking under the influence of 1856 glasses of bubbles 😉

Ah well, it can always be worse .. least I woke up at home, in my own bed as opposed to this:

Right??? 😉

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About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on December 17, 2011, in Humour, Rants and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. Right. Waking up at home is much better. That pic has made the rounds on the web for a number of years now, and the unfortunate woman in the photo looks identical to my ex. Enough that I really wonder if it’s her… and I’m absolutely serious. Yes, much better to wake up at home.

  2. So was the party wild, or just you?

  3. Have a nice evening, did we?

  4. Dude! That chick is a frackin lobster! At least when I passed out topless it was at night!

  5. “As with the best parties I got up this morning and did the whole “hmm what happened..?” musing. Generally this involves checking my iPhone to see who had been the (lucky, of course .. snort) recipient of my drunken texts, going thru my wallet and checking out my receipts and then (always last) checking the camera folder on my phone (ugh) ..”

    You just described my typical Sunday morning. Love it 🙂

  6. Farce, it’s 6 pm right now and I’m nursing a hangover from hell. Still. If you and I ever went out drinking together, it would be a total disaster. And I only say things like that to people I love.

    Anyways, I’m concerned about the wet clothes. Perhaps you tried to shower but forgot to take them off. I’m impressed that you get to go to parties where there are high ranking government officials. At the same time, I’m a bit skeptical. Sounds like a line. “Hey, I’m a…er….high ranking government official. How ’bout givin me your digits.”

    I think the moral of the story is that you never should’ve went out for lunch.

    • If I hadn’t gone out for bloody lunch I’d have been an even bigger berk! Oh .. you mean if I’d eaten, instead of guzzling booze all arvo? Gotcha *grin* No one ever accused me of being a sensible drinker. Serious yes, sensible no s’much.

      6pm hangovers suck. I do not subscribe to the hair of the dog cure, even I cannot handle drinking on top of a hangover (til the late afternoon anyway!) so my cure that never fails is freshly squeezed orange juice, fried potatoes, bacon, eggs and lots of hot sauce on the side. THEN (but wait there’s more) have an apple pie.

      That ghastly blend of sugar, grease and carbs will cure all and the diff types of sugar / carbs means they last thru the pain with you. Not that I’m a seasoned drinker or nuffink, of course!!! 😉

      As for the wet clothes.. I’m sticking with the fact that I was chilling with the smokers and it was a rainy night cos for the life of me I cannot remember taking a swim and I checked the papers – no articles about boozed up old ladies thinking they could swim home (phew) .. the shower one is unlikely because then my clothes would be in bathtub, oh but wait, logic and booze – you could be on to something lol

      And sadly, the govt line wasn’t a line .. hopefully he won’t remember me. I didn’t even recognise him til I was told afterwards by a colleague who it was I’d be harassing. He was hotter than hades, nuff said? Sadly he has kids and a wife. hmm, it worries me that I know this actually. ffs .. I need to go do a debrief with said colleague this morning urgently!!!

      PS I am made of sterner stuff, I think you SO should come to NZ let’s go out and show this town a thing or two. (Yours, not mine tho k!)

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