I’m getting the hang of this on-line dating thing!
I mentioned awhile ago that I’d signed up to a couple of dating sites and it’s fair to say that initially I found some aspects of the whole online thing a little off-putting, people seem a bit more invasive, more aggressive with the safety net of a screen in front of them. However, I decided to put my misgivings aside and just get into the spirit of things, after all – if I want this to work I have to invest something too, right?
So, this morning I was sent notification that someone (2 someones, actually) had emailed me.. Very exciting indeed!
I duly logged in and set to having a read. After all, a few nice chats would ease the pain of being back at work today, I figured .. I’ve copied and pasted them below so you can enjoy them as much as I did. Bear in mind, each new line is a new message. The site I was on is not the nicest I’ve ever used ..
Hardbod4U: Wud u b put off by 11 inches babe?
Farce*: LOL, uh, depends where, I’m thinking 😉 <– trying to be nice, aren’t I good?
Hardbod4U: I’m in LA babe
Farce: Oh well then no, 11 inches wouldn’t faze me in the slightest! <– totally didn’t get it, did he?
Hardbod4U: Wud u like 2 swap pics babe?
Farce: All my pictures are on my profile, feel free to have a look if you’d like.. <– remember HE messaged me so he had to have seen ’em already!!! $#@!
Hardbod4U: Fuck lady, ur gna get nowhere on this site wit ur attitude.
Farce: Er, really? What makes you say that?
Hardbod4U: Ur stuck up I wish u were here though ur hot
Farce: Thanks. Would you like to buy a vowel?
Hardbod4U: haha fk ur a bitch
Farce: (I know, I shouldn’t have, but oh come ON) And this week the letter “O” is on special, I can give you 3 for a dollar.
No reply for some reason …
Farce: Hey there Benchpresser! Thanks for the msg – so, is that 69kg or 69lb you bench press?
Farce: Just stares at the screen .. (And considers logging out)
(I’m no quitter)
GRainger: Hi. SWM/41. Do you have any baggage?
GRainger: Yeah Baggage.
Farce: I do have some very nice gucci suitcases, but I don’t know that I would loan them to a total stranger..
GRainger: hahah you’re funny <– liking the fact he uses apostrophes for all I didn’t understand his 1st msg lol
Farce: Thanks, I am told I do have a good sense of humour. So, I have to ask – Why the baggage question?
GRainger: I hate chicks with kids.
Farce: Oh fair enough, I hate kids too. They totally ruin your figure, and they never leave home – of this I am assured 😉
GRainger: How many you got? I got 5.
Farce:(fffffuuuuuuuuu) er, I have to run now – urgent meeting to attend. Take care .. <– he DID email me again, omg
Undeterred (for reasons that elude me!) I decided I’d take the bull by the horns and send a few messages myself! Apparently women never do this, so I thought this was something I’d have a hack at! I searched online profiles and found one that had a name I liked ..
Now I admit, I didn’t put too much in it, after all – if they don’t reply it is a bit of a waste of time and effort. Instead I kept it short and to the point. But topical, I thought!
Farce: Hey there, I like your handle. I choose life too! 🙂
IChooseLife: What do you mean?
Ok, fine NOW I quit.
*Not my online dating name but you all know me as this, so it’s easier.
Posted on January 4, 2012, in Humour and tagged Blogging, Blogs, Dating, Holidays, Hope, Humor, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Optimism, personal, Random, Rants, Relationships. Friendship, Technology, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 55 Comments.