Nasty or Nice – Which is best?
In a relationship, I mean.. You see I am by nature a nurturer (Try saying that after a few tequila shots!) If I care for someone, I enjoy taking care of them. I think I have whined about it in previous posts: that I end up giving a lot to my ‘mate’ but that eventually he just sits back and goes ‘awright!’, takes anything on offer but stops giving back..
It doesn’t ever start that way, but inevitably goes there. So you have him lovin’ every minute of his life cos he’s with someone who’s kinda nice to him. Then you have me feeling used and under-appreciated. And you guessed it: ending the relationship.
A friend of mine recently became engaged to a man she’s been with for some time. All very exciting! I’ll talk more about that later because it means I’m coming to the US of A – so look out everyone! 😉
But a few months before the engagement she was on the brink of tossing him out the door!
Without going into details, we talked about it at the time and she was really upset and on the verge of telling him to get out of her life. Then she updated me a few days later, after they’d had a “big talk” and said he was lovey dovey beyond comprehension, helpful.. nothing was a bother, he was positively doting on her.
She laughed and said “treat ’em mean – keep ’em keen!”
Now she isn’t actually the mean sort so she was more using the phrase to explain away how come this change had taken place. But it did make me wonder why she had to get to the brink of breaking it off before he finally went ‘oh she’s seriously upset, I better do something!”
i.e.: it took a drama before he took action.
So does that mean that maybe relationships are meant to be like this?
Maybe relationships are just like see saw rides?
They all start out WOOHOO! FUN! WHEEEE – LIFE IS GOOD! Up up and then – crash.. Bad .. Ok, let’s go back up … YAY .. It’s all good! Down down down …Thud. Or worse: they don’t even continue to see/saw – the other half gets off the damn thing, letting you crash to the ground.
We all know how much that hurts when it happens. Metaphorically speaking or otherwise..
But you know what else?
If they are like this and there’s nothing we can do about it then I don’t think I want one!
Because I cannot live that way. I strive for balance and peace .. Not in that annoying “peace, love and lentils” kinda way – this is about my head space.. my life. I enjoy things being calm and pleasant.
Not for me the dramas, the fights, the making up crap that seems to happen so much in modern day relationships..
So anyway, am I wrong, can a good relationship be anything other than a see saw ride?
Saw this pic above on a blog today when searching for “treat ’em mean and keep ’em keen” – sadly, this does seem to be the case, from men I’ve talked to on this topic. No wonder we’re all confused as hell in this game of love..
Posted on January 10, 2012, in Humour, Life, Love, Rants, Relationships, Stress and tagged Blogging, Blogs, Dating, Drinking, Holidays, Hope, Humor, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Optimism, personal, Random, Rants, Relationships. Friendship. Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.