End of an er.. ror
It’s mid-afternoon as I write this and I’m sitting here with a glass of Moet in hand (Yes, I have the whole bottle to go and omg the flash on my phone makes that look like cat pee hahah) and it’s fair to say I’ve had the weirdest day, emotionally.
Roller coaster doesn’t quite do it justice, think more.. tilt-a-whirl..
You see, to everyone it seems I have the perfect life. I’m told this often.. Of course perfect means different things to different people..
So to my hitched pals, I’m seen as carefree, single, free to do what I want, when I want etc. To my single pals, I’m seen as confident, able to do what I want / when I want and .. a bunch of other stuff.
But really, I’m just a woman with NO friggen clues and a propensity to be alone when she probably should surround herself with pals..
Ok so that makes no sense. Let me back up…
Today is a big day for me.
I took my engagement ring off..
Now I know I ended things back in June and I have dated a couple of men since this time.. But somehow, the symbolism of taking that ring off .. meant something to me.
It’s a beautiful 1.25ct diamond mined from under some glacier in Canada of all places.. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing bling-ish, more understated (OK FINE DULL .. like me lol)
We designed it sitting in the jewellers together, picked the stone and delighted in how beautifully elegant it was in those early days of thinking this was it..
After I told him it was over, I continued to wear the ring. Is that weird? Truthfully, I found it helpful when out on the town.. any man got overly annoying I could point to the finger and say “this has been fun but I have to go home now” ..
But also, I experience lovely feelings whenever I look at it, and I love it. I really do .. it’s so simply beautiful.
One thing you need to realise is that I didn’t hate him when I finally ended it, it was (I think) worse than that – I wasn’t in love with him.
All that aside, I took the ring off today and tucked it into my jewellery box with other precious mementos and as I shut the lid, I surprised myself by bursting into tears.
No one was here so it was ok .. I had a lil cry and then set to being busy. Busy is very useful for those of us who prefer to repress our emotions 😉
So it’s Friday afternoon and normally I’d be out misbehaving with my friends. But instead I am at home and I’m having a bit of a “farewell” party. Alone.. Some might call it a pity party – I prefer my name for it ..
You see, today 8yrs ago today I officially got engaged.
Mm probly don’t need to say any more do I.
Someone pass me that bottle will ya … Ta ..
Posted on January 13, 2012, in Change, Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Rants, Relationships, Stress and tagged Blogging, Blogs, Dating, Drinking, Hope, Humor, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Optimism, personal, Random, Rants, Relationships. Friendship. Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.