I make grown men cry

I was informed of this last evening.. Okay, I don’t exactly make them cry .. But I do scare them, apparently. Yep, I’m serious. Men .. those gorgeous creatures, who are genetically disposed to being taller, heavier, stronger and I’d guess would also be in ‘possession’ of more testosterone than I – are afraid .. Of me.

This is gonna be a ramble – bear with me hopefully it’ll make some sense near the end? But then again – sez who it has to?! This is my blog if you don’t like it go read someone else’s .. Anyway where was I – oh yeah .. talking about me being mean an’ scary *grins*

By now some of you may have worked out that I’m no social wall flower. As a well educated, well travelled, intelligent person I find it easy to hold a conversation with total strangers.

So it is not uncommon for me to be in the thick of it at any social function and my best friend always teases me because she says I make a beeline for the cutest guy in any setting.  I would like to go on record as saying I DO NOT .. well, I don’t actively do it anyway lol ..

However, if I’m honest I know that men do enjoy my company.

I wonder if it’s partly because I’m not an uber girly girl. I can cuss better than most for all I try not to do it too often.  I’m logical, rational and calm. I am not the type to act (or be) shocked should someone belch, fart or tell a dirty joke. I can out drink most people, love to have fun and – so long as it’s appropriate, can adapt my humour to whatever setting I’m in.

So anyway, let’s go back to the social setting for a bit.

I’m surrounded by women and men. We’re having a blast.. it’s relaxing, it’s fun and to the uninitiated it looks very much like we’re enjoying ourselves – Great!

But inside the men are quaking at the mere thought of being left alone with me??

Is that at all possible? And if so, why?

I aint writing this to elicit a bunch of “you’re fine” comments, I’m genuinely curious. Do you suppose a woman who has her shit “seemingly” together, may just be too intimidating to a man? Is that hard wiring of “male protector provider” too great to overcome?

Or is it just that you men are a big pack of WIMPS??

*grins*

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About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on February 5, 2012, in Humour, Life, Love, Rants, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.

  1. I’m not married, but I do have a girlfriend, which in turn means that I can’t flirt with any other girls. But my girlfriend is quite an independent woman who does seem to have her shit together. I wouldn’t want to have an insecure woman, so…
    BY THE WAY, this post was great. Cheers.

    • Hey, thanks for the comment! I guess some men will not be intimidated .. I SO don’t think I am that scary, so this is why it really irks me to be told I am!

      I like the fact you don’t flirt, since you have a girlfriend.. That is nice 🙂

  2. Love the post. My take (since that’s the only take I own): If a guy is intimidated by you, he’s not anyone you’d want to be with anyway. I’m generally not the kind of woman that men want to pal around with. My friends are women, not men. But I’m very independant, especially at this time of my life. Now Husband is fond of telling me that what attracted him to me was how independant I was. He’s a smart cookie.

    • Yeah, you are right of course .. but I just don’t think I am even remotely scary and do my best to make people feel at ease, so wtf is going on there?

      I have a small group of very close female friends and a handful of close male friends.. but in a group setting, will end up with a 50/50 mix almost every time which is kinda nice ..

      It’s nice your hubby tells you what attracted him .. Gives me hope too 🙂

  3. I’m not scared of women… nope not me… woman are lovely and in no way scary… they are fantastic creatures to be respected not feared… just don’t shout at me.

    Woofs

  4. Hotspur Explains It All: You just be your regular normal awesome self, Fred, and if some guys are intimidated or frightened by that, then they’re not the guys you want, and therefore they can fuck off. That’s generally good advice – be yourself and see who sticks around – but in your case, it’s especially good. You need a pretty solid and stable guy, not some window shopping ass cookie.

    • Now I’ve stopped giggling, I can type a response to this …

      I totally know I need to be me and hopefully someone will not be freaked out or grossed out by that and will snap me up but geez, some guys I gaze at and think “Oh come ON” (so to speak!) cos they seem fabulous but I get nary a bite’!

      *grumble*

      One thing I learned a long time ago was to be me cos man, it’d be hard work trying to be what you’re not, full time! I’m very lazy 😉

  5. I’m pretty sure the pack of men you hang around are a bunch of hairy gashes and don’t deserve to be called men.

  6. omg you cannot say hairy gashes on my blog, that is just nasssssssssssty LOLOL .. shit I’m dying here LMAO ..

  7. I’ve had a theory for awhile now that men are typically far more sensitive than women. I think it’s mostly because men have egos (not waffles) to protect, while women can get over a little criticism more easily. Men don’t know what to do with themselves in situations where their egos could be threatened, so they gravitate towards less independent women who might tell them what’s what. I’m sure most of that is obvious and I didn’t come up with it, but based on my experience, I consider it helpful when trying to navigate the whole dating thing. And yes- to the men who might read this, I know this isn’t true for all guys.

    • Oh I think you are onto something there with the sensitive comment, Carly! I also think some women are such complete bitches to men that it does leave them wondering wtf to do when another one comes along (except run and hide lol)

      I remember asking a guy on a date last year and thinking about how we always expect the man to do it and I felt quite a lot of empathy and sympathy for them!

  8. I like this post, but hesitate to even guess as to what the problem is. You definitely don’t intimidate me, but that’s just me. However, if you’re taller than say, 5’11”, that may be part of the issue…

    • I’m avg height I think?

      5’7 and 3/4 (yeah yeah whatever .. 3/4 of an inch can make a lot of diffs) 😉

      Maybe I need to pretend to be needing rescuing?
      eep..

      WHY can’t a man just go “fk yeah someone who aint in debt, has no insurmountable baggage, can parallel park remember .. Oh and doesn’t make me wanna throw up when I look at her?”

      *sigh*

  9. Ohhh…the story of my life. I have a solid career and I’m 5’10” but wear heels most of the time that make me 6’2″. I’m about as down to earth as they come but even my girlfriends tell me I scare the be-jesus out of guys. Great post!

    • Oh that does make you tall, yeah.. I tend to go with 3inch heels so am still not towering over the avg man.. I used to so long to be ‘cute’ when I was a teen cos even then I was this same height and one can only be cute when under a certain height, I’m sure of it! Thanks for the comment 🙂

  10. most men are schmucks! does that explain your conundrum. continue…

  11. Oh yes.. I’ve been told the same. “Intimidating” is the word The Ambassador prefers. I’ve also been told that’s ridiculous & I’m not scary at all.

    I think women who handle their business and know how to run our lives can certainly be intimidating. Not anything we are doing tho.. That’s on them.

    • Intimidating, yeah I get called that too. But people that KNOW me laugh their asses off when they hear this, so it’s just an aura that some people pick up. Kinda like how dogs can smell fear (personally, I believe children can too .. that’s how they know who to go up to and smear their ice cream hands on!) ..

      As you say, it’s not anything we do. It’s how we are.

      And I guess I can’t (nor would I want to) change how I am, cos that’s just me.

  12. “Do you suppose a woman who has her shit “seemingly” together, may just be too intimidating to a man?”

    Only an insecure one. I figure that’s 2/3 of the blokes out there.

    • Yeah, John you’re right – there are a lot of insecure men and women out there.. It must be hard, feeling that way. I’m not overly cocky, but am glad I have enough confidence in myself to just be .. And roll with whatever happens. (Even if I don’t always like it lol)

  13. I’ve hear it said, men feel intimidated by a woman who has too much of her stuff together because they think “Where do I fit into this picture? Of what possible use can I be if she can do everything for herself? Why would she need me & want to stay with me?” Now, granted this is mostly insecure men, but there may be a few others out there who are wondering where they would fit into your life if they asked you out. Or who are afraid you might just dump them for someone else cuter or richer since you don’t NEED them for anything. I think men feel safer with women who need something (even just spider killing) from them. Something to think about?

    • benseknees– fantastic insight. Love it!

    • Yeah I hear your comment.

      For me tho – this is who and how I am – call it independent .. secure .. whatever .. but I sure as eggs am not planning on pretending to be something else just to stop a man from feeling insecure or weird around me ..

      The right man, I hope .. will not find it scary that I can survive fine without him but instead will be kinda chuffed to think that I choose to be with him. That I want to be with him. As opposed to “needing” him..

      • Never to infer you should change for anyone or pretend to need a man in order to get him. I was only pointing out what I have heard men say about powerful, successful, independent women. Apparently men want to feel needed whether we need them or not 🙂

  14. Yeah, well… you don’t scare me, Kiwi. And if you ever made me cry, it would probably be from tears of joy! Don’t waste your time on the wimps who are afraid of you – they don’t deserve you, and you sure as hell deserve better than guys like them!

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