$!#@! It’s Valentine’s Day

I am always thankful for surviving that family-filled festival of hell most people call Xmas.. And New Years is fine: that’s when you ditch your family and hang with friends and / or just chill out. January sort of eases you back into the swing of things. But just when you thought it was safe to relax then along comes February!

The month of doom for anyone who is single or .. maybe worse .. for someone who’s living with a romantic slug.

It’s that time when every florist rubs their hands together with glee, every bookshop bursts with nauseating heart covered cards, cinemas air the most dreadful romantic movies, the television is awash with mush, every supermarket and candy store stocks up on heart shaped chocolates and every unattached / single person just thinks to themselves:


As I am sure most of us do – I have some lovely valentine’s day memories ..

Of course, I have some pretty horrible ones too. The worst would have to be the year before I left my husband.. It started so well – to say I was surprised but thrilled to get a dozen red roses delivered to me is an understatement.

I duly raced off and bought a dozen or so heart-shaped chocolates and some skanky red lingerie he’d hinted he found hot, before setting the chocolates up to lead him from the front door to the boudoir where I had arranged myself in a very obvious “I’m good to go!” sort of fashion.

The hubby came home at the usual time, walked to the bedroom doorway and said “hey”, whilst eating the chocolates and then wandered off mumbling something about a football game on the telly.

I lay there in total and utter disbelief. There is no other way to describe it.. This was 20 years ago now and as I type this, I can still recall the godawful feeling of being utterly, totally devastated. I was too shocked to even cry..

I just felt .. desolate..

Eventually I got up, cooked his dinner, damn near dropped it in his lap and went off to a (single!) gal pal’s house for the evening where we sat and watched chick flicks, ate chocolate, drank wine and had a lovely Valentine’s day evening eventually 😉

Fast forward a year and I spent my first Valentine’s day alone after ending what was a truly dreadful marriage. I bought myself some lilies (which I far prefer over roses), got a few gorgeous chocolates and hired a sappy movie.

I sat and blubbed my way thru said movie, scoffed the chocolates, admired the flowers and went to bed in an old but fave night-shirt. I’d thrown the lingerie out, it hurt too much to even see it.

Oh, I later found out that his secretary had arranged the flowers. She’d asked him if he’d done anything the morning of V-day and kept at him til eventually he threw her his credit card and said “if you wanna get her some flowers go for it”.. She told me this after we got divorced..

Anyway, this year, who knows what my Valentine’s day will bring!

But I do know this much – I don’t actually mind, whatever happens. Because at the end of the day, sure I’m single but for the most part I’m happy. I’m healthy, I have a fabulous circle of friends. Life is good (and always beats the alternative!)

So yeah, bring it Valentine’s day cos I’m kinda at peace with my world right now.
And that isn’t anything to sneeze at, if you ask me..


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on February 8, 2012, in Happy-ness, Humour, Love, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. Valentine’s day is just an excuse to give people chocolate. You are far better off without him.

    • I have been asked that before, but he went on to shack up with some other woman after we split so my response has to be “no” lol .. he had a very .. odd / cold upbringing and it and manifested itself in very odd ways thru his life. He was incapable of showing love and emotion til it would eventually make him crazy and he’d erupt in a rage .. sad really.

      • “He was incapable of showing love and emotion…” Enough said. He was damaged goods, and good riddance!
        I used to know a guy like that – in fact he was one of my best friends for years – and apparently he made a much better friend to pal around with, than a guy for a woman to be in a love relationship with, even though he was very handsome. He’d often take up with a new woman, and it seemed like everything was going great for a year or so… and then he’d just inexplicably get bored with her and drop her. And he didn’t leave her so he could be with another – he just didn’t want her anymore. I had more than one of his ex GFs come to me in tears and ask me if I knew what she had done wrong with him… The honest truth was that I knew she had done nothing with him, because he was the one with the problem.

  2. My SO and I HATE Valentines Day and refuse to celebrate it. We don’t need Hallmark to tell us when to love each other. Personally, I’ve always thought it was a terrible thing to do to single people … just like Mothers Day and Fathers Day are to the childless. Oh hell … Hallmark sucks all year long and the price of a card is, coincidentally, about the same as a margarita.

    • LOL I hadn’t thought about the Mother’s Day / Father’s day thing in the same vein but yeah – they all are gonna be hard on someone, so true….

      I’m thinking I may need to go spend the next 10yrs worth of V-Day cards and get a bottle of tequila 😉

  3. I never liked Valentine’s Day. Then again, I can be a bit of a dickwad.

  4. You know who I’m mad at? The secretary. Was telling you that going to make anything better or worse? No. She could have kept that yap buttoned.
    I’m married and we don’t celebrate Valentines day. I don’t need a commercial industry to tell me when to eat candy- the whole holiday is just wrong.

    • In defence of her, she waited til after the divorce and it did help me to understand why I got flowers but such a shitty response to my overtures, if that makes sense?

      Like you – I don’t need a calendar to tell me when I should let someone special to me KNOW I think they’re special. I prefer to take home flowers out of the blue one day and just say “Happy Monday” .. ie I was thinking of you today and liked it ..

      Maybe they should put an age limit on it. You’re only allowed to do V-Day til you’re 15!
      And you have to hand make the cards 😉

  5. Valentine’s day….psh…yuck…expectations weigh heavily on every woman and man on the planet. Not fair. Even though we’ve been together for 20+ years, hubby and I don’t do the Valentine’s Day thing. We’ve made an agreement…that should be an every day kind of thing, not just on special occasions….it’s worked so far…

  6. I’ve been ignoring Valentines Day for so many years now, including the married years , that I don’t think the day phases me anymore.

    Of course, I usually get distracted by the fact that my mom and step-father’s anniversary is on the 12th. Trust me, that was an accident. If you knew my mom, you’d know it was a total accident. When she told me the wedding date was Feb 12 and I asked her in some surprise if she intended to get married two days before valentines, well, let’s just say the shocked expression on her face was priceless 😀

  7. I guess I’m the only one who likes Valentine’s Day 🙂 We all know that telling your loved one that you love them should not be reserved for just one day, but it is a day for those who may be shy and timid, to take a step and maybe just let the one they adore know that they are liked/loved. That’s not such a bad thing. Personally it’s a special day for me, yes, it’s the day my husband proposed. And for me, it could not have been any more perfect and I wouldn’t have wanted him to choose anyother day. We celebrate, but it’s only one of 3 anniversaries we celebrate. It’s a great day for us to reflect on that special occasion and I look forward to it!

  8. I am so not sad about being single for V-Day. Is that weird? I just feel empowered. I haven’t had a single V-day since I was 18 years old. It reminds me that I am taking the time to focus on myself and get my shit together before I have to babysit another man.

    And buying yourself lilies? Genius. I need to buy myself some flowers. And maybe do a little baking 🙂

  9. I prefer to call it VD.

    Great post. I think I’ll buy myself some nice chocolates. I buy myself flowers once a week. I have to have fresh flowers in a vase at all times. They make me happy.

  10. The last year with my ex things were SO bad. I picked out a card out of obligation. I didn’t want to say anything I didn’t feel so the card was awful. I thought it had to be the worst possible card on the shelves… Until I got the one he picked out. Ugh, obligation!

    I also have memories of my mother sending a carnations to school on V day when I was a kid. One for me & each of my two sisters. It’s a beautiful memory & I plan to do the same for my kiddos this year. I suppose it’s like anything… It’s all what you make of it.

    No idea what my guy will do this year… I feel pretty secure with him at this point & certainly don’t need a holiday to assure me. However, I am excited to have an excuse to be all uber romantic together–

  11. GOOO, you! You go ahead and have a DAMN good time. Whether you spend it alone, or with friends.
    One V-Day in university, I arranged a fun (but fancy) little dinner with my single friends. They didn’t all know each other, but everyone was up for it, so about 8 of us went for a nice dinner, and shared treats. It was really fun.

    Even when I’m in a relationship, I like to do little things for my single friends. Buy a box of chocolate and drop it off to their houses. Sometimes I let them know it’s me, sometimes I don’t. Everyone should feel the looove. 🙂

  12. This is why my wife and I intentionally got married on February 20th. We gloss over Valentine’s Day and save it for the anniversary. And on a related note. the first couple of years we got each other the sappy cards for Sweetest Day, Valentine’s Day, etc., but now we’re 100% humor. The funnier the better. And sometimes, every so often, I play a game called ‘get the most unrelated possible card I can find.’

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