Knowledge isn’t just power

Someone sent me a link the other day to an on-line assessment (I’m off to buy the book later today) called: “Your love language”. Click on the picture below to go to the free test, it didn’t take long to do and I must say I found it remarkably accurate – esp. when I think about how I so often find myself feeling during a relationship.

It was especially apt, since the new man in my life and I found ourselves talking at some length yesterday about what we liked and disliked in our previous serious relationships.

It was interesting to hear a male’s point of view and perhaps moreso, because he seems to be the male equal of me: in that he has no trouble attracting women but doesn’t seem to be able to go the distance, for whatever reasons.

And he’s remarkably open about his feelings, so I am finding.

Oh and before you think we’re both the type who never make it past 3 dates but call it a relationship – we’re both out of 7-8yr relationships in the last year or so.

Some of you may recall awhile back I made a list of what I’d like in a man .. this was done sort of in jest but sort of not, too. Well this new man gets a “tick” against *everything on that list but one of the things that totally does it for me is his sense of humour. I laugh almost the entire time we’re together..

This is an awesome addition when you remember that he’s handsome, kind and charming. As well as being highly intelligent, he is driven in his career and in possession of a very confident demeanour. To top it off? He races cars and bikes, which we all know I find dead-sexy.

This blend of attributes all packaged into one man is not something I’ve experienced before..

And yes, I like it 😉

BUT I realised this week how important it is for me to be with a man who can make me laugh. So that was cool.. cos for all I posted about what I wanted in a man, I laughed when I observed that “make me laugh” wasn’t on said list!

In my dating history I have 2 long term relationships, amid the other dates and ‘experiences’.

1 with the super-serious (but hot) intellectual and 1 with the charming & popular but a little bit mean and indifferent (to me) guy.

From these relationships I learned a whole lot, both about me and about men. And about relationships .. of course! But I’m also aware that there is so much I don’t really know about men and how they tick.

I also learn about my relationship “approach”, which is something I’ve pondered before in this blog and no doubt will continue to do so..

Not really sure this entry flows a helluva well or makes much sense even.. but I’ll finish it by saying this:

As I walked home from the gym yesterday, I realised I was smiling to myself and that I felt a sense of security and a happiness with whatever was going on with Mr new.

I put it down to the fact that he communicates openly with me on all sorts of topics .. but also that he makes me feel confident that HE is into me as much as I am him, at this point in the situation.

And that knowledge made me feel .. at peace..

*I have to admit, I can’t say yes to quite everything since we’re in the early days yet – but I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that for all I’ve yet to assess it, I’m optimistic *grins*


About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on February 14, 2012, in Hope, Humour, Life, Love, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. Standing O for you. I’m glad to hear he’s making you so happy. As for laughing, that’s the key, I think. My mother said that if you can laugh together, you’ll make it through almost anything, and if you can’t, you won’t. Wise woman, for all she’s on her second (yet highly successful) marriage. 🙂

    • Your Mother is indeed wise! I’ve always thought it’d be a cool thing to be with someone who made me laugh but wondered if eventually it’d be irritating, cos they are never serious. BUT then I think about myself, and I don’t take myself seriously but can be serious when needed so derrrr maybe I should give men the same opp!

      Learning curves rock. I know it sounds corny but learning something new is such a buzz.

      There is a wee bit of a personal test going on for me with Mr New – he’s gone away for 2 weeks. And contact will be sporadic, at best. Watch this space hur hur.. (urgh)

  2. sincere good luck. continue…

  3. Sense of humor and the ability to make me laugh has always been at the top of my list of what I’d like in a man. I’m delighted to read you are enjoying the company of a man who can make you laugh.

  4. He sounds wonderful…congrats.

  5. So happy to hear that you are happy!!! Have a loving Valentine’s Day!

  6. I ❤ the love languages.. SO important! Having someone who shows love in a way that resonates with you can make it or break it.

  7. It’s all going according to the prophesy! But really, it’s just you. You’re that good.

  8. That is so great! I think when you meet the right person it should just flow, feel right and make you tingle……Happy Valentine’s Day!

  9. I’m off to take the test, but judging by the men I’ve managed to shared a mutual, “OMG, you’re neato,” feeling with, who still never managed to “get me,” I’m pretty sure my heart has been speaking Klingon.

    Congratulations on finding your own, “OMG, you’re neato,” btw. 😉

  10. *share…. GEEZ! (sorry!)

  11. You can’t have 13 bloggers liking a post! It could be bad luck! That’s why I had to jump in here real quick and make it 14 bloggers liking your post. No need to thank me… it’s just what I do.

  12. Took the test (wow I feel needy.. Lol) and bought the book. My next quesion is.. On the website the author said we tend to be attracted to people who show love in different ways from us… So how do you get em well versed in the language that resonates with you? Hmmmm

    • Maybe you have to do test together, which means you will appreciate their needs and they should be more aware of yours / appreciate yours? Of course, some men will tell you to shove a self help book somewhere so that may mean you need to use more subtle means to get them to do the test. I dunno. The questions are so repetitive, to try and get the right response (in the book) so that makes it a tad hard to do it verbally with someone huh.

      When you work it out, let us know?? 😉

      What was your love language, can I ask?

      • My language is “Word of Affirmation” and I can totally see, in looking at past relationships, the ones I felt incredible passion and intensity for were the ones who spoke my language. Words of Affirmation can definitely make me fall crazy, madly, deeply in love!

        I do intend to take the assessments together, and soon. The book is very encouraging when talking about learning to love -that- person… But you must have a willing partner. My ex was never a willing partner and in fact even said to me “I don’t believe in Psychology”… Lol. Ridiculous. I’m sure this won’t be an issue with The Ambassador 🙂

  13. Happy you click so well with this guy, and glad it’s gone well so far!
    Always nice when we find someone fills a need we didn’t even realize was a need…

    • Yeah, true re not knowing! And from what everyone says laughter was the biggie, so we shall see.. I think I was always a bit afraid of the clown factor. Cos I can be a bit introspective and serious and if someone makes a joke or tries to make me laugh my way out of it when I aint ready I find it really hard to take.. when in fact MAYBE it is just what I need 😉

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