Speed kills?

So the other day I was whining about how my issues (and need for speed!) could be a big part of what jeopardise/s my relationships and I received a huge range of comments & advice – which is, of course, because we’re all different in our requirements & issues!

Since then I’ve thought about it and realise that maybe I actually just need to re-define what slow is, and in doing so I may then learn not to freak out, fret and / or $#@! things up.

Cos really, I am not sure things are going that slow, for all I’m bitching that they are. It’s just different to how other relationships have gone for me.. And let’s face it .. they’re (the other relationships) plain gone, so maybe this whole new (slow) deal is a positive improvement.. ?

Let’s look at the facts:

Mr New has been in my world for 1 month now. Wooo long term here we come (snort) …

My attempted cynicism aside – in that time he’s been away for 2 weeks and he has a job that keeps him very busy. Combine that with my busy life and you have the opportunity for this newly diagnosed “needy” chick to feel very anxious!

But most of the time I have to say I am not anxious, I’m really enjoying what we’ve got going on and this is largely due to the fact that he doesn’t give me much chance (or need) to feel anxious. For all he’s perhaps unaware he’s even doing such a thing!

At the same time, I do want to take some of the credit here because I am working very hard to not lay my previous “issues” / stuff on him and to instead roll with it and enjoy myself in this new experience..

Heck, how can I be stressed out really?

We’re on a daily contact (in some way, shape or form) deal – which works fabulously for someone of my love language (that pretty much says I am high maintenance / needy!)

Oh sure they pretty it up by saying that I “value” what they refer to as “Quality time” .. but whatever .. “needy clingy witch” also comes to mind 😉

But the fact remains that for all he’s away a lot and busy and we have lives that could easily not intersect helluvanoften (today’s new word) we’re more than managing the connection. And since I am trying to follow his lead, I’m letting HIM do the chasing, letting him maintain a level of contact he is comfortable with ..

And I can’t fault him, I just can’t.

Classic example: As I type this he’s en route Europe for work. And I’ve heard from him at every place where he has wireless internet.. ! Initially I wondered, was I being too available (as I am prone to be!) by always responding to his texts, calls or emails – but ya know what people?

I cannot ignore someone who’s giving me what I want, that’s just .. rude, in my book. To say nothing of stupid. I mean heck, he is doing something I need and enjoy – why the hell wouldn’t I acknowledge and thereby (probably) encourage it to continue?

So Edward, I’m kinda taking your advice of “don’t go slow you stupid woman!” (OK I’m paraphrasing ever so slightly) but I am also trying to temper it with my new found “go a bit slower than is normal” thing.

And it’s working a treat 🙂

Sure, no one can know what may come of any new relationship but for this impatient, needy female – I’ve decided to just relax and enjoy it. And for all I’ve said these words many times before, I actually mean them now ..

Amazing how that level of confidence in someone (by virtue of their actions) can totally alter how you feel about a situation huh!

May you have a happy weekend .. 

Whichever lane you’re in!