It’s OKAY to be scared
Recently I mentioned that I am horribly high maintenance and that – having been burned in the past – I have a tendency to let some of my issues drive my actions and / or my thoughts. Which of course means there is a very real danger of these things impacting my future.
And this annoys me! Not the least because it’s just plain dumb to do (and I like to think I am not a dumb person) but moreso because I can’t seem to bloody stop it from happening..
It comes down to fear, really doesn’t it. For all I have to say fearful is not an adjective many people would use when they think of me! Scary maybe but not scared. 😉
So, why am I scared? Because it’s horrible when you give in to something as big as “love” and it doesn’t work out. It’s that simple..
However as the person who’s always dispensing the advice: “Don’t be silly, give it a go – worst case scenario you try and it doesn’t work then just learn from it and move on.. That way it’s a lesson as opposed to a waste of time!”
etc etc blah blah blah ..
Well, let’s just say they’re easy words to spout but it turns out they’re not so easy to apply over one’s own insecurities and actions. 😉
Mr New is still in Europe but still being fabulous. I have had a dreadful week with one thing and another and he’s actively attempted to give comfort from afar which has been helluva cute .. And very reassuring. Particularly when you remember his “lack of drama” preference lol
I have come to the conclusion that Mr New deserves a real chance. By this I mean he deserves to not have me be a wanker, filled with silly insecurities. A second-guesser. A worry-wart (and general pain in the arse.)
He is entitled (and I’d guess he “wants”) to be with someone who’s going to accept him at face value, appreciate all the awesome things that he brings to the table and not conjure up issues or imagine things that (at this point, anyway) never manifest themselves, in our current ‘relationship’.
I know this won’t be simple to do but as per my “trust” blog post, I am determined to give it my best shot and do believe I will reap the benefits as a result of my (hard!) work and efforts at controlling this head crap I lug about with me!
In keeping with this theme, someone sent me this pic (below) today, someone who knows my past and how I tend to over-think things .. And I wanted to share it with you all. Because it made me go “wow, yes” and I think some of you will also appreciate it..
Posted on March 9, 2012, in Hope, Humour, Love, Relationships, Stress and tagged Blogs, Dating, Hope, Humor, Inspiration, Life, Lifestyle, Love, Love Language, Marriage, Musings, Online dating, personal, Quotes, Random, Rants, Relationships. Friendship, Self Help, Trust. Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.