It’s OKAY to be scared

Recently I mentioned that I am horribly high maintenance and that – having been burned in the past – I have a tendency to let some of my issues drive my actions and / or my thoughts. Which of course means there is a very real danger of these things impacting my future.

And this annoys me! Not the least because it’s just plain dumb to do (and I like to think I am not a dumb person) but moreso because I can’t seem to bloody stop it from happening..

It comes down to fear, really doesn’t it. For all I have to say fearful is not an adjective many people would use when they think of me! Scary maybe but not scared. 😉

So, why am I scared? Because it’s horrible when you give in to something as big as “love” and it doesn’t work out. It’s that simple..

However as the person who’s always dispensing the advice: “Don’t be silly, give it a go – worst case scenario you try and it doesn’t work then just learn from it and move on.. That way it’s a lesson as opposed to a waste of time!”

etc etc blah blah blah ..

Well, let’s just say they’re easy words to spout but it turns out they’re not so easy to apply over one’s own insecurities and actions. 😉

Mr New is still in Europe but still being fabulous. I have had a dreadful week with one thing and another and he’s actively attempted to give comfort from afar which has been helluva cute .. And very reassuring. Particularly when you remember his “lack of drama” preference lol

I  have come to the conclusion that Mr New deserves a real chance. By this I mean he deserves to not have me be a wanker, filled with silly insecurities. A second-guesser. A worry-wart (and general pain in the arse.)

He is entitled (and I’d guess he “wants”) to be with someone who’s going to accept him at face value, appreciate all the awesome things that he brings to the table and not conjure up issues or imagine things that (at this point, anyway) never manifest themselves, in our current ‘relationship’.

I know this won’t be simple to do but as per my “trust” blog post, I am determined to give it my best shot and do believe I will reap the benefits as a result of my (hard!) work and efforts at controlling this head crap I lug about with me!

In keeping with this theme, someone sent me this pic (below) today, someone who knows my past and how I tend to over-think things .. And I wanted to share it with you all. Because it made me go “wow, yes” and I think some of you will also appreciate it..

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About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on March 9, 2012, in Hope, Humour, Love, Relationships, Stress and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. I love that pic! And it’s so very true. It’s only while doing things or being involved with people who matter to me that I’m ever all that scared. I was explaining to someone the other day that if I can joke about something, then you know I’m fine with it, or that I don’t care that much about it. It’s when I can’t take it lightly enough to joke that you know I either have a problem or it matters to me.

    Here’s to being scared and doing it anyway! *toasts her favourite kiwi*

    • You an’ me both kiddo! It was just so perfect for me right now lol .. I am a bit of a clown, but yeah when it comes to my own emotions, I’m a write off sheesh. Are we having vegemite toast??? Yuuuuuuum

  2. True words of wisdom in the bold print there, as well as the fine print… As Julie says, “Here’s to being scared and doing it anyway!” Because that’s the real definition of courage. Wishing you the very best of ongoing success and happiness with Mr New! He must be quite a guy… and I’m feeling optimistic for both of you.

    • Yeah … both fine and bold are kinda words that my friend KNEW would make me go “WOOAH” .. Courage or stupidity??? *grin* He is lovely, Chris. I’m in terrible danger of being smitten. Scariest fucking feeling ever. Esp because he’s so diff to what I’d normally “go” for.

  3. yup. i wish u well here. continue…

  4. Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them… they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight… 🙂

  5. Give art a try? Doesn’t work, that’s cool. You learned you can’t draw and move on. Go bungee jumping? Scares the shit out of you but who cares? You tried it, you can move on. Hold a poisonous snake? Didn’t get bit, but screw that! You’ll never do it again, move on. Give someone your heart and they rip it out and stomp all over it?? How easy is it to move on from THAT? It’s not. I so relate to all of what you are saying and it’s just so damn difficult to NOT bring your past into your future. Yes, we learn lessons but I’m not so sure that’s directly related to how we feel and our insecurities. At least, not all the time. But, I must say I am really proud of you for acknowledging your fears and insecurities…not everyone can or does do that. You’re doing it and that, my friend, is half the battle. You are doing GREAT! Mr. New does sound like a great guy so just know I’m here, cheering for you! 😀

    • Thanks hon .. he does seem fabulous, on week 6 .. I LOVE your thinking. Learning how to cook a thai curry that you don’t like – slightly less stressful than giving your heart and all to someone only to have it stomped on. And that perhaps sums up why I struggle with the whole trust thing. A damaged heart or emotions is a tad more painful than a bad art class .. (PS I’ve bungy jumped – a whole new world of terror – gimme love anyday hahah)

  6. Mr. New doesn’t sound too scary 🙂

  7. You are a brave woman to be putting all this out there. I applaud you. OK, think about this: There are only two human emotions, love (not necessarily the romantic kind) and fear. If you aren’t coming from love, you are coming from fear. We all experience fear. But we also have a choice. And we can choose to come from love. It really does make things easier.

  8. Your introspection will serve you well!

  9. Like your attitude of trying to face your fears about Mr. New, but don’t forget it’s YOU he fell for & surely some of your insecurities make up YOU. Don’t get so caught up in trying to handle your fear & manage your insecurities you forget to be the you Mr. New liked enough to get involved with. Since he is still hanging in there when you’ve had some bad days, he probably likes you “warts & all.”
    Remember a coward dies a thousand deaths while a hero dies only one.

  10. Loooove the words in the image. I think maybe it does mean ur on to something 😉

  11. That picture says it all! It’s nice that mr new is putting in the effort even from a far, I have come to find out that this is quite a rare thing in guys so maybe your on to something??

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