I’ll see ya .. (Bye)

So yeah, I could be ever so slightly drunk as I type this post. Nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking out in the blazing sun with a few friends (It is a beautiful day here in godzone as we hang onto sunshine in the vain hope Winter isn’t lurking just around our corner of the globe!)

No. I suspect my being ever so slightly drunk could be more to do with the fact I’ve been drinking since … well, since earlier in the day ..

Since right after Mr New flew off to Europe.

We’ve spent a week agonising over choices. Talking things through. Crying. Talking. Talking. Crying. Cuddling. Talking. Crying. Talking about options. Talking about the future .. talking about choices ..

Til eventually, he made his . .

“In fairness to you, let’s just say it’s over and if we reconnect when I come back – All good.” Inference being if we don’t, well who the fuck cares anyway.

The fact he let them bring his going away date forward. The fact he seemed totally OK with saying “cya”. The fact he said “just”. The fact he seemed distant at the airport. The fact he kissed me on the nose as he departed ..

All (and more) are reasons why I’ve been drinking since a rather-too-early time of day.

So yeah, that’s the update on my life.. as it currently reads. Sorry for the radio silence, I’ve been reading your blogs for all I’ve not posted on many .. I just couldn’t..

Anyway, happy easter everyone.

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About lifeinthefarcelane

Giving life the shake down it so richly deserves.

Posted on April 7, 2012, in Change, Life, Love, Rants, Relationships, Stress and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 32 Comments.

  1. Oh dear. Well, who needs a romantic partner anyway? We’re all perfectly fine without them!

    I’m glad you’re with friends, though. You’re in good company with this blog as well. And–if you find yourself doing so–please don’t think about the end of the relationship as a failure on your part or as a fatal flaw in your character. It’s not.

    You’re living life. You’re moving a step closer to the person you’re meant to be with. And that, among everything else, is a reason to be happy. But, in the meantime, a drink does sound like a good idea!

    Cheers!

    • LOL I concur, Michael! On all counts 😉

      I am lucky, at times like this to be able to surround myself with friends who soothe and distract as required! And as for blaming me, I don’t really. For all I may say “I’m so unlucky in love”, I know it’s not ‘just me’ at fault, it’s a bunch of stuff. Still hate it tho 😉

  2. Really sucks that his work took him away…sorry. It would have been so hard to make it work. you’ll come back together when he gets back if it’s right. Keep your chin up 🙂

    • It would have been hard, we both discussed that at length since he first told me he was being posted.. I don’t know what the future holds but as you say – we shall see .. meantime: chins are up *grin*

  3. That sucks. I wish I was there to make you a white russian. I’ve been told mine take all your troubles at least temporarily away 🙂 *many hugs*

    • oooh that sounds lethal and definitely what I could have used to numb the “wtf” thoughts hammering my brain to bits .. I didn’t go to the airport but knew which flight he was on and stood watching a plane at that time fly away. Lame eh 😉

      Ah well. Life goes on. Maybe in the slow lane for a few days but it always goes on..

      • *hugs* you’ll make it through, and one way or another, you’ll look back on this with the proper perspective and see what you learned from it and how it made you grow as a person. It sucks at the time, and that stuff isn’t comforting and is hard to see when you’re in the middle of it. But I’ve learned looking back on my own life that it’s just how things work. 🙂

      • It’s so true, after a while we can look back and go “oh I got X from that deal” but yeah at the time it’s a little less easy to have that level of perspective. But I’m ok with hurting (for all I don’t enjoy it!) .. I just kinda think I’d worry about myself if I DIDN’T feel something 😉

  4. Big deep breathes gerlie gerl. It sucks big time!!! Enjoy the sunshine. There is nothing I can say that will help you feel better. Just know that I, and I suspect so many otehrs too, know what that feels like. You are not alone.

  5. Ah so sorry Hon! But you know that you did nothing wrong! I guess a positive is that you, I hope, did not invest a lot into this guy, you will bounce back and be stronger and better for it! Keep strong!

    • Thanks 🙂 You’re right I didn’t invest much but had high hopes.. He had just done so many amazing things that made me go “wow..” so many boxes were checked .. oh yeah except the whole live on the other side of the fricken world one *sigh* Ah well.. What will be will be yadda yadda .. the universe is shuffling me along somewhere, with something in mind even tho I have no bloody clue what. Be so much simpler if one could just roll with it and not go “but wait, I wanna do this”!

      • Me, the Ever the Optimist, says “Now you know that there are still some good guys out there, so the next time one comes along, you will recognize it easier and you will know what to do with it” 🙂

  6. I’m very, very sorry, and I wish that there was something more I could do to help – but I know there isn’t. Hurt as much as you need and have to, but as soon as it’s possible for you to hold your head up – start over again. Everyone deserves to have love and fulfillment in their lives, and that includes you.

    • Thanks Chris, I appreciate your comment / support, a lot. I spent the weekend drinking, talking shit and being with friends in the sun, at various gorgeous locations.. It was a great distraction and keeping busy will keep my mind off anything it ought not think 😉

  7. As the duly elected ruler of all the universes, I decree that from henceforth, all posts must be done while drunk! And we might as well read them while we are drunk, just to make it fair.
    Now stop moping… You set the bird free, it will either come back to roost or not. Why make yourself miserable while you wait to see which way it flies?

    • I think I’m entitled to a few hours of “moping’ time, as you refer to it. Not for me the heartless “fuck it, he’s gone” (I’m over it) deal. That’s just not my style.

      • You can be sad for what might have been, but it won’t hurt him, just yourself.

      • Being sad isn’t hurting me, it is just part of processing emotions.. Which as I see it, is perfectly healthy and has absolutely nothing to do with hurting him.. I think you’ve got the wrong end of the wrong stick here 🙂

      • You have enough people feeling sorry for you. I am just telling you to keep in in perspective. If it doesn’t work out when you are apart, then it wasn’t going to work out if you never left each other’s sides. And the thing about love is, when you find the right person, then someday you won’t even remember the ones that didn’t stick around. They just fade away. You have to keep the long term goal in mind.

      • I am fairly confident my perspective is spot on for where I am at in the situation I am experiencing right now.
        Thanks for your comment, anyway.

  8. Yeah! And get some while you’re waiting. It shouldn’t bother him at all.

  9. Ahh, what the??? Maybe he was mentally preparing himself for the departure, hence the distance. Maybe this call is the best. And if it’s meant to work out, it’ll work out when he gets back.

    • My mother was like that – she knew something was coming that would hurt her, she’d shut it out beforehand, almost as some sort of advance prep deal. Drove me crazy but it is good to know it’s just a way some people deal with things, and nothing personal as such huh! We shall see what happens. He said not to put my life on hold for him, which indicates (I’m guessing anyway) that he will be doing the same .. so I don’t hold out much hope but .. well, WHO knows!? 😉

  10. Sucks matey. It really sucks. A lot of us have been in this same situation. It does pass. Hang in there.

  11. Well, on the other hand, now you can find someone else around with no pressure, because you know he’ll be back.
    Hang in there kiddo, and keep on rockin!

  12. Ouch! Sorry to hear that, I know that’s gotta be tough. As someone who will occasionally drown his sorrows, wondering: what was your poison?

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