Category Archives: Change

Someone stole my MOJO!

I’m having a very omg-what’s-going-on-woe-is-me / sorry-for-myself afternoon today, so look out cos if you keep reading, you’re officially my unpaid therapists 😉

Mindful that I never post any more, I am unsure quite why I don’t post, other than being a lazy tart and perhaps having no decent material, to be fair.

My  life has changed SO much in recent times .. and mostly in a good way, I have to say! The last year and a bit has been one of good but massive change however, my love life continues to be a complete screw up. (Nice to know some things never change huh!)

I’ve meandered between “I don’t care, I’m happy as I am” to “omg I wanna find a mate and be one half of something neat” to (today) “I have got to give up on this shit, I am clearly useless at relationships so why keep trying?”

Cos let’s face it, if I was as shit at ice skating as I am dating – I’d quit. If I was as rubbish at sky diving, I’d hopefully have a chance to say “no more!”

But with dating, omg there’s so much potential to just go on and on and on (cue Celine Dion / Titanic musack!)
And look how THAT worked out!??!

The thing is .. I am not at all unhappy. I am thrilled with where I am in life. Other than getting older (sigh) I am happy. But I DO find myself occasionally thinking “what would it be like to have someone around whom I adore?” Other than my dogs, that is 😉

So this explains why  I have had a variety of date disasters recently. (This whole “I feel like I need something else” bollocks thing being blamed!) but I am unsure any are blog-worthy, they’re just sad stories lol

I might go into details on that at some point, but I guess I kind of just wanted to touch base with anyone who still bothers to check in here and say hey, I’m alive, I’m quite happy but still single and (you can thank me now for being constant in that!) if I had anything more interesting than “meh this dating thing bites” I would write it, honest!

Seems it doesn’t matter where we live

Romance (or the lack thereof!) speaks to us wherever we are. Today my top hits were from:

United States

Oman

Indonesia

Romania

New Zealand

Yesterday,  I was popular in:

Country Views
United States FlagUnited States 3
Lebanon FlagLebanon 3
Canada FlagCanada 1
Australia FlagAustralia 1
India FlagIndia 1
Nice to know that having no bloody idea how to have a relationship is a world-wide thing 😉

Swinging (Yet another dating disaster!)

I thought it was time to run another series of dating disasters because let’s face it: I’ve had my share! Not all my dates have been duds, so don’t despair! It’s fair to say that some test my faith (and sense of humour!) however it can’t be all bad – cos I keep doing it 😉

This particular date night was one I have tried hard to stash in the darkest recesses of my mind, it was such a shocker .. substance abuse, alcohol and stupidity = bad blend. I only admit to two of the 3 😉

We met through a friend of a friend at a BBQ, many years ago now. He was elegantly beautiful. Sort of movie star meets businessman. I have a thing for pretty I am told. Well, he was picture perfect. Or so it seemed!

Not only was he educated, funny and smelt amazing – he seemed smitten with me and who doesn’t like when that happens? He was attentive, witty and we had a lot of laughs at our very first meeting. From there, he did everything right..

Got my address off our mutual friend and sent flowers to say he’d loved meeting me (swoon!) then there were phone calls, long lazy ones where we shared lots – he invested a lot of time in his pursuit, I will give him that.

There was also meals and drinks out .. parties attended, movies, ice skating – I really thought I had met a winner. And everyone said we looked good together, it just felt..

Great!

After about 6 weeks of this perfection, he said we had yet another party invite and was I interested. I’d have gone to the opening of a phone book with him had he asked, so a party was never an issue.  I set to glamming myself up – this was a new crowd mostly people I’d not yet met, so he said. Thus I wanted to impress. Sexy lil black dress. Heels .. the usual.

He picked me up (said I looked gorgeous – we liked him more with every meeting!) and we headed into a suburb that was affluent and picturesque – I recall now, I was impressed with the people he hung out with. He seemed very well connected .. I was in my late 20s and these things seem to matter at that age .. or they did to me anyway ..

Upon arrival we were plied with hugs, air kisses and – oddly (although not so much in hindsight!) I had my face stroked by one of the women who was at the door.. I wrote it off as a person who was overly touchy feely, we all know (and avoid!!) one, after all!

We were then told to help ourselves to drinks and boy were they generous hosts!

Didn’t seem to matter what one wanted, it was all there. Including aforementioned drugs.. It was like something out of a movie. I confess to being reasonably naive in my younger days so this display kind of freaked me out but I was trying my best to be all handle it and hang with the cool kids.

I also glued myself to Mr perfect’s side.
For all the good it did me!

Mr Perfect set to introducing me to everyone. And gosh but they were friendly. I lost count of the kisses and gropes I had! For all I like to be part of a crowd, I do recall it was a little .. odd.

About the time I was feeling super uber everything is about when it all started to unravel lol

As I said, I was glued to Mr Perfect’s side .. but the bastard unglued me and disappeared, leaving me in the (literally!) clutches of a very hot but … well, a lot older and OH YEAH FEMALE guest at the party.

Initially, she had done the whole “you’re new to this crowd, why don’t I introduce you” thing. And it was nice to view a friendly face amid the new ones .. not gonna lie there. Not the least cos I’d been ditched by MrBeautifullyperfect (sigh) ..

Then there was the moment I found her hand on my ass.
And her husband attached to hers .. whilst eyeing up mine ..

Should I go on, or do you get the picture?

Suffice to say, Mr Perfect and I – not s’much a happening thing from thereonin 😉

The end is nigh

So my last post was a tiny bit depressing, as I digested the news that I was destined to be single for a rather long time to come. However, some time has since elapsed and I am now accustomed to this notion vs. being somewhat bemused, confused and pissed off about it 😉

Instead of becoming too depressed, I have opted to change a few things that are within my control. And it feels kinda good, I must say!

Including pushing the lovely but (seemingly) out of grasp Mr fabulous into a safe place (for me) where he no longer features as “important”, instead he’s in the corner with other “so damn hot and want him to bits but don’t like the baggage he comes with” types.

He’s overseas – as always. And we do talk, albeit occasionally. And almost always on his terms. And for all I want you to all think I am in control i.e,: I’m “the man”, I’m a complete wuss and whilst his terms suck – oh how I love to hear from him 😦

Perhaps the most human and sad bit of this post which is really just intended to be an update not something to make you all wanna come cuddle me and make me feel better (for all I wouldn’t say no to that lol)

ANYWAY the real reason for this post was to say hi, touch base and wish you all a very relaxed and happy Xmas (assuming the Mayan’s are wrong, of course!) and to say “watch this space” cos by heck there’s some new stuff going down in my world in the new year and who the heck knows what it will bring but as I sink into my 3rd champagne here in 88 deg (F) heat, I wanna say “Bring it!”

And soon, I hope to be ready for whatever “it” brings 😉

How about you?

Are you ready for Xmas?
And the new year?

I look forward to hearing from you all and keeping in touch ~ way better than I have done til now. Below is a pic of the NZ Christmas tree. It’s found on many beaches .. it may not be Christmassy to you but to us it so totally symbolises Xmas in this sunny hemisphere come December 🙂

Merry Christmas, my friends. My wish for you is happiness in silly quantities and I look fwd to hearing about the pursuit of and/or realisation of it xo

Alone? That’s OK

Google search the word “alone” and you’re returned approx. 5174810 pages. Of pictures in sepia or black and white, of all sorts of things: Sad faced puppies. Children. People. Skulls. Kittens. In puddles. On the edge of a pier. In the rain. With tatty teddy bears. Sad prose. Broken roses.. If one wasn’t depressed when they 1st Googled the damn word they would fast get there!

Wandering along a deserted (it was 5am) beach this morning, I was hit by the realisation that I was thoroughly enjoying being alone. This of course got me to thinking and I started to dissect the word alone.

ALONE. Say it with me: ALONE. Say it out loud: ALONE. It just sounds so negative.

Sure, there are times when the word isn’t all bad. For example: “She couldn’t have done it alone” but even THAT is effectively saying if you ARE alone you’re weak, incapable, incomplete.. Alone, poor you.

To be fair, I tend to go on about alone. Banging on about how I wish I was one half of some sort of decent relationship. If we did a tally up, probably every second entry on my blog says this 😉 So today’s realisation that I was alone, (happily) came as a bit of a shock.

Sometimes I do wonder if people who say “I’m OK alone” are just saying it in the hopes they will one day BE ok but I suppose that is what made today’s realisation so much more of a shock. I did mean it. I felt completely okay with it.

So, as I’ve gone through my Sunday. Alone. I’ve pondered this notion of alone and OK.

I walked the beach. Alone. It was peaceful, soothing and enjoyable. I came home and ate brunch. Alone. Cooked. Alone. By me. Alone. In my home. Alone. It was delicious. Alone. Hmm, I didn’t wash the dishes. I need a house keeper, not a mate? 😉

I went visiting some friends. Alone. They didn’t seem too put out by me being alone. And after an enjoyable visit, I drove home. Alone. Stopping at the shops to buy some champagne. To drink.

Alone.

A little while ago I was on the couch, watching telly. Feet up. Button of my jeans undone (very Al Bundy-esque) bare foot, singlet top. Urban sprawl personified.  Alone, of course.

And I actually grinned to myself as I realised how much I was so totally okay with this being alone thing.

It felt good, that realisation.

Not to say that in a few months (or whatever) I wont think “I don’t wanna be alone” but being happily something when you kind of can’t change it: quite liberating I must say.

Now if you will excuse me, I am off to play music. Loud music. And fold laundry. And do dishes. And maybe go for a walk to the park so I can feed some stale bread to the ducks. And then come home and have a long hot shower, wash my hair and drink some champagne..

You guessed it: ALONE 🙂

I’m actually in love with someone else

But I really do enjoy spending time with you and hope we can continue to do this?

That is the line uttered to me just now. Or 2 hours ago, I should say. I’ve spent the last wee while staring at the wall (and drinking gin — lots) whilst trying to work out why the universe thinks it’s so funny to fuck with me this way (I’m actually laughing as I type that bit but in a teeth-gritted sorta way!) 😉

Ahh hell..!

Yeah so Mr nice guy – who is really nice – is in love with a woman who isn’t in love with him. Yes. I asked. It’s like tooth ache – I had to go there! From my asking, an hour long discussion ensued. About the woman of his dreams. (ie not ME!) but instead about a woman he’s madly in love with ..

A woman who does not share those feelings. Yet.
He hopes.

So he’s trying to move on. His words..

If moving on means dating someone else, he’d be right – we’d all agree, yes? And hey, honesty IS the best policy, everyone knows this! But uh yeah he’s IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Let’s not lose sight of those words. Cos HONESTLY, talking to him and watching his face as he talked. He aint moving on. He’s just trying to.

But he’s in love.. Poor man.

Ah well. Back to the drawing board we go lol

Breaking up (r)

This is in part inspired by Edward Hotspur, a blogger I always enjoy. Reading or whatever 😉

I think reposting old content is really sensible, it may bring “new” readers up to speed or attract new readers. We won’t dwell on how it may bore “long term” readers to tears. Let’s hope they can cope *grins*

Not sure I am doing this right tho but here –> when is it right? is a link to a blog post I made almost a year ago. About when the time is right to end a  long term relationship.. Something I was in the throes of doing!

Enjoy!

Being, happily

I promised myself I wouldn’t write another post til I’d replied to a few of the comments (cos I love my comments and my “commenters”!) on my last couple of posts but I am in danger of having people think I’ve dropped off the planet so thought a quick update was in order before a busy weekend!*

Taking the advice from one reader who said “kick that idiot over in Europe to the curb” I have managed to push him out of my mind for the most part (approx. 98% there, lol .. he still manages to creep into my thoughts now and then) and I have been happily doing my own thing.

Healing, I called it today when talking to a friend. That sounds ever so slightly melodramatic but it’s been an awful couple of years with a bunch of stuff going on for me (not solely related to my love life) and this self-imposed exile has been extremely helpful.

It’s been a time for me to clear my mind. To assess what was really important to me .. and what was not so important. Interesting times indeed! And, as I say – very helpful..

As well, I’ve been slowly getting to know a man I met online the week I moved here. I’d not mentioned him and for no particular reason, I think it’s probably because he was just normal / fine so it was more entertaining pondering WTF the deal was with the pumpan’dump guy than saying I’d had a wine with a nice guy 😉

I hadn’t put any “label” on what we were doing until my best friend said to me “So you’re a couple now?” after a lovely dinner and drinks date on Friday evening. She was being sarcastic because in giving her the “bff to bff account of the evening” I’d said we didn’t have sex (SHE asked, we have no boundaries this friend and I LOL) but it did make me think “gosh, are we a couple?”

My thinking is I don’t actually want (nor need) to label it. I just am going to enjoy it and see what happens. Maybe having a certain lack of expectation is helpful to relationship longevity or maybe I’m just too tired of being hopeful and being let down, whichever it is, I am at peace with this no-label deal and enjoying spending time once or twice a week with this man.

And that in itself is kinda cool.

Also cool is the fact I’ve rediscovered the joy of music and I’ve also gotten into gardening. Yes, often at the same time! I have an amazing (ancient but awesome!) stereo but my ex didn’t like music (noise, he called it) so when I got here I had it set up so I have speakers all through my house including 2 that pipe the ‘noise’ outside. Which works well with my new found gardening habit.

I never knew it could be so satisfying!

I don’t like the dirty fingernails thing but love the result of my labours and each day I go out to my winter vege patch and eye up the very stressed out plants (as I imagine them covered in cheese sauce or gravy alongside my fave meals!) and delight in the whole vege patch thing I have going on.

Not quite taking time to smell the roses but along the same lines I’d guess.

Anyway, I do hope everyone out there is well. I often think of you guys and do try to read for all I don’t often comment but I WILL catch up some time (You’ve been warned!) Meantime I really must go and think about some more weeding. The down-side to gardening!

*Hah didn’t get this finished before he came over on Friday, it’s now Sunday afternoon and I’m trying to finish this in between other critical things I keep promising myself I will do – such as gardening and sitting in the sunshine 😉

And just cos it made me giggle:

A plea, to the code cutters of WP

Just because you CAN, does not mean you should.. I’m tired of $#@! trying to find things because one of you has decided we need to have multiple tabs to view our stats and stuff. I liked the table format for reading blogs under assorted topics. I’m fed up with not being able to easily read the comments I’ve made on other blogs. But at the same time, WTF were you thinking with the emailed comments check box bizzo?

I read and comment on a lot of very busy blogs. My inbox is having conniptions thanks to the new spam check box you’ve developed! Have you people not heard of the unsolicited email laws? Ok it probably doesn’t count since this is the WWW and a blog but OMG please change it back, that functionality chaps my ass.

*stomps off in a huff* 

Europe, Porn and Sexy lingerie

So yeah, apparently I’ve been a bit quiet (for me! LOL) Well it’s been kinda .. hectic .. in my world. In the last few weeks I have:

Moved towns, travelled 11801 miles to end a relationship*, been on a date with what seemed like the perfect man only to have to ask him to leave long before HE thought it was over and did I mention I quit my job after a scrap with a very high ranking govt official?

Mmm. Been a funny ol’ time for LITFL!

But let’s start with the *Paris trip. Going back a little bit now, we had the “break up because of the distance thing” followed by quite a few phone calls, texts and emails – more than one would expect from a guy who’s saying “this isn’t going to work” as he jets off overseas.

I became confused and thought maybe there was a chance it’d work but needed to know more. And so, on a total (and very expensive, ffs!) whim – flew to Paris to surprise / confront his nibs.

It went fabulously ’til the last day I was there and then it all came crashing down. The distance thing .. the lack of intimacy .. the lack of closeness .. it’s just insurmountable, it seems.

I flew home to a total shitstorm in my work situation (albeit not a total surprise) but on being smacked around a time or two too many, I had already told all the wrong people to shove it pre Europe and so I walked.

And when I say walked? I upped and left town!

I know. I don’t do things by halves lol

And so we have me now living in a different city, single. Alone, save for my 2 cats.
And kinda OK ..

I really like the above pic because there are – honest to god – days when I say to anyone “I’m cool” when I’m anything but. Not sure I’d cope with the wrong people saying “no you’re not, here’s a hug” but I like the concept for all that.

Now I KNOW I will be ok, long term. After all, I don’t have an incurable disease, a kidnapped child or anything that is really serious. I have an inability to find the right man. White woman problem. I get it.

But hey this is my blog and I’m giving an update of what’s going on and how I feel about it. Don’t like it? Don’t approve? Think I’m being a wanker? Fuck off. Oops I mean, cheers .. but please, leave me to sort myself out without your judgement, I just don’t need it.

Oh and the title of this blog? Well duh I packed lingerie, I bought video porn (albeit unintentional for all the haughty Frenchman at reception didn’t believe me) and .. well I went to Europe!

Yes, I know .. I left out the awful date, that’s a-whole nother entry in the making lol

I’ll see ya .. (Bye)

So yeah, I could be ever so slightly drunk as I type this post. Nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking out in the blazing sun with a few friends (It is a beautiful day here in godzone as we hang onto sunshine in the vain hope Winter isn’t lurking just around our corner of the globe!)

No. I suspect my being ever so slightly drunk could be more to do with the fact I’ve been drinking since … well, since earlier in the day ..

Since right after Mr New flew off to Europe.

We’ve spent a week agonising over choices. Talking things through. Crying. Talking. Talking. Crying. Cuddling. Talking. Crying. Talking about options. Talking about the future .. talking about choices ..

Til eventually, he made his . .

“In fairness to you, let’s just say it’s over and if we reconnect when I come back – All good.” Inference being if we don’t, well who the fuck cares anyway.

The fact he let them bring his going away date forward. The fact he seemed totally OK with saying “cya”. The fact he said “just”. The fact he seemed distant at the airport. The fact he kissed me on the nose as he departed ..

All (and more) are reasons why I’ve been drinking since a rather-too-early time of day.

So yeah, that’s the update on my life.. as it currently reads. Sorry for the radio silence, I’ve been reading your blogs for all I’ve not posted on many .. I just couldn’t..

Anyway, happy easter everyone.

Do long distance relationships work?

Mr New and I had our “serious discussion” yesterday evening .. it ended with me in tears and him looking angry (and maybe a little sad) as he walked out my apartment door ..

And you all wonder why I am unconvinced about this whole love thing or more to the point – with my chances at ever finding a man who will stay around?!?

*sigh*

Tis fair to say I am in danger of being ever-so-slightly melodramatic today, cos this “discussion” has really thrown me. It’s not as bad as it could be, I suppose. He doesn’t have (nor want!) 14 kids..

Instead, Mr New has taken a job overseas. Okay that isn’t 100% accurate: he’s going overseas for his work .. For at least 6 months. Maybe longer .. Definitely no less than 6 months ..Yes, I asked lol

And so I am here thinking “now what?” His thinking is we do the long distance thing.

My thinking is “why the $#@! can’t I keep a man?!”
*grins*

Okay okay, I know it’s not as bad as all that but .. long distance relationships .. really?

Oh and the reason he left in a huff was because I pretty much accused him of having an affair with some hot European chick as soon as he got there (ah shaddup, I was shocked and acting ever so slightly pissy!)

Actually he left because we were going ’round in circles with the discussion and I suggested he go .. Call it tactical: it was to prevent me saying dumb shit I’d later regret. Cos I was so not thinking with a logical brain, once he delivered his news!

Worst of all? I forgot to even say congratulations, cos it’s basically a promotion .. so that felt pretty bad. I sent a text offering my congrats and such after he left .. bit late then huh 😦

If you will excuse me, I’m off to sink into a deep depression whilst out running into the sunrise (just to be different!) .. The best thing about running? Leaves you so tired you have no capacity to do anything, including send whiny texts 😉

Commitment, issues & exciting news

I recently started reading the book “He’s scared / She’s scared” .. but I stopped after realising that it perhaps would be more appropriate for me to read “She’s scarred / He’s scared” .. so yeah turns out I have commitment issues with finishing books – Good to know.  😉

Mr New continues to be quite lovely – in spite of my many foibles. He’s back from Europe and for all his supposed preferences (freedom, lack of drama and other non-emotive stuff), he seemed rather pleased to know that I had missed him.

Yes, I told him. Sue me.. I can’t not be who I am, say how I feel. A) I couldn’t maintain it if I tried and B) Well heck, he’d find out eventually anyway.. That said, I am still trying to be mindful / aware of how I act, based on my past relationships (and failures!) so as not to scare him … yet – lol!

So anyway, that’s not really the point of this post. The point is I had an epiphany last night that I wanted to share with you all!

I think I’ve worked out how to ensure that relationships succeed and it’s SO simple I can’t believe no one has cracked it before!?

Each party just needs to put in a very large non-refundable cash deposit! Like I said, elegantly simple..

After all, it’s the investment that everyone understands .. for all we need and want different things from relationships, have differing love languages plus issues – the fact that we’ve invested a large sum of non-refundable (that’s important!) cold hard cash into the deal is pretty much guaranteed to keep most people wanting to make it work..

I know. I’m so clever ..

Alright, I’m kidding .. mostly 😉

You may be interested in the reason I meandered down this line of thought .. Cos it is kinda cool, I think.

You see on his return from Europe, Mr New suggested that he and I go on a holiday later in the year! Now on more than one occasion, when talking, he makes statements that indicate he sees himself around for awhile. But the idea of an overseas holiday is a biggie to me!

Not the least because the holiday we then opted for needs a large deposit paid in the next few weeks..

And it’s then that it dawned on me (brick / head =  dumb-arse, I know) and I am somewhat ashamed to admit it – but I realised once he paid that deposit on the holiday, I would relax and just start 100% enjoying this relationship instead of fretting about things (that really don’t need to be fretted about!)

So, interesting developments .. Well, for me anyway 😉 And in the midst of all this, I now have a holiday to daydream about and plan! Yeah!

SURPRISE!

OMG, Mr New came home a day earlier than he told me and surprised me just now with a beautiful bunch of white lilies (He listens! I vaguely recall once mentioning to him that they were my fave flowers) and a text message timed as the delivery was being made, to say: “I’m back, did ya miss me?”

Wanna know what really annoys me about this?

The thrill that I felt when I opened the card and saw who they were from. That stupid-assed grin that hasn’t yet been wiped off my face. That slightly giddy sense of wonder.. that he actually did something this lovely for me. 

And the fact that I acted like a complete wanker while he was away, in that I actually wasted energy worrying that I’d never see or hear from him again.
*sigh*

I was feeling very anxious this morning, no denying it. The fact is I knew he’d be out of contact because he told me so. But that didn’t stop me from being a dick and worrying. Aint baggage grand .. !

Ah well, at least I was able to internalise (or blogalise, as the case was) my stupidity instead of laying it on him or I am willing to bet I’d have received something quite different to flowers on his return .. 😉

Heartless bitch reporting in..

So today I was advised that I’m a “heartless, calculating and nasty bitch”. I like to think this is similar to how any person driving under the speed limit ahead of me is a bloody moron (and every person over taking me is a %$#@! lunatic) i.e.: it is possibly not entirely accurate.

Tis fair to say I have stewed, been fucked off (‘scuse my French) and generally obsessed about this statement all day. Not for me the “Sticks and stones” thing. It rankled. More than a liddle..

And I don’t know why because if I am really honest with myself, I KNOW I am not all that nasty or heartless. Calculating, mm the jury is still out on that one lol .. Personally, I don’t think calculating is bad.. but prefer to call it “measured” or “analytical” .. 😉

Throughout the early days of break up week, i.e.: the week I told him my partner of almost 8yrs that it was over – I’d receive very distressing emails from him. As he grappled with the shock of what had happened.

And it made me grateful that I had agonised for weeks (and yes, I mean weeks – literally) about how I was going to end things cos it was horrible with a lot of thought and planning, if I’d not done this I can only imagine how bad it may have been..

You see, I thought very carefully about the words I would use in the break up speech. Remember: I didn’t hate him – I just was not in love with him any more. Hating someone, or even disliking them makes breaking up so much simpler I am sure.

The reason I thought it through so carefully was twofold:

1. I needed to be entirely sure there was NO ambiguity in the process. That in no way would I utter any words that he could cling to .. any phrase that could be a little vague and maybe encourage him to think he could change the fact I had said it was over. That was for my own benefit, as well as his of course. But I think it’s really important when breaking up, to think about these things.

2. I needed to be careful of the words I used (or prepared, in case asked) to describe how I felt and why I had ended it. Not wanting to hurt him any more than the act of ending our relationship was going to. Cos I was with a thinker. A deep and intense person who would take on board a statement and mull it over to ridiculous lengths. It’s just how he is..

In the same way I stewed over his statement today, I know he would have re-played the discussion over and over trying to make sense of it. I had to be kind, but firm. Be sure he knew I meant it but not mess him up so he’d be anxious moving into his next relationship.

In the end I opted for simple..

When asked “why?” I said: “I’m just not in love with you any more.” Now I guess maybe he could have said “I can make you fall back in love with me” but we’d talked in the past about how sad it would be to be with someone who wasn’t in love with you so this was a fairly “calculated” statement. And one he simply couldn’t refute. After all, they’re my feelings.

I recall 2 breakups of my own, ie times when I have been kicked to the curb, in the past.

Asshole.. oops I mean “Man” #1 said: “You’re too intense”. I’d be inclined to agree with this statement, so that wasn’t so bad altho I do think he used it as his “unambiguous” reason lol

Man #2 said: “I think you want too much from me.” I guess my expecting to see him now and then was pretty demanding huh..!

The song is so right, breaking up is hard to do. Hard to take. Hard to experience. Even for mean, nasty, horrible old bags like me!

Oh and for no other reason than that it irritated me, I’m sharing this lil caption below which I happen to think is the biggest pile of horseshit ever written. Well, other than many of the Shakespearean tragedies.. they irritate me too.

Hell who am I kidding, everything is irritating me after my day of stewing!

I’m off to take it out on a punching bag at the gym..

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