Category Archives: Stress

Someone stole my MOJO!

I’m having a very omg-what’s-going-on-woe-is-me / sorry-for-myself afternoon today, so look out cos if you keep reading, you’re officially my unpaid therapists 😉

Mindful that I never post any more, I am unsure quite why I don’t post, other than being a lazy tart and perhaps having no decent material, to be fair.

My  life has changed SO much in recent times .. and mostly in a good way, I have to say! The last year and a bit has been one of good but massive change however, my love life continues to be a complete screw up. (Nice to know some things never change huh!)

I’ve meandered between “I don’t care, I’m happy as I am” to “omg I wanna find a mate and be one half of something neat” to (today) “I have got to give up on this shit, I am clearly useless at relationships so why keep trying?”

Cos let’s face it, if I was as shit at ice skating as I am dating – I’d quit. If I was as rubbish at sky diving, I’d hopefully have a chance to say “no more!”

But with dating, omg there’s so much potential to just go on and on and on (cue Celine Dion / Titanic musack!)
And look how THAT worked out!??!

The thing is .. I am not at all unhappy. I am thrilled with where I am in life. Other than getting older (sigh) I am happy. But I DO find myself occasionally thinking “what would it be like to have someone around whom I adore?” Other than my dogs, that is 😉

So this explains why  I have had a variety of date disasters recently. (This whole “I feel like I need something else” bollocks thing being blamed!) but I am unsure any are blog-worthy, they’re just sad stories lol

I might go into details on that at some point, but I guess I kind of just wanted to touch base with anyone who still bothers to check in here and say hey, I’m alive, I’m quite happy but still single and (you can thank me now for being constant in that!) if I had anything more interesting than “meh this dating thing bites” I would write it, honest!

Swinging (Yet another dating disaster!)

I thought it was time to run another series of dating disasters because let’s face it: I’ve had my share! Not all my dates have been duds, so don’t despair! It’s fair to say that some test my faith (and sense of humour!) however it can’t be all bad – cos I keep doing it 😉

This particular date night was one I have tried hard to stash in the darkest recesses of my mind, it was such a shocker .. substance abuse, alcohol and stupidity = bad blend. I only admit to two of the 3 😉

We met through a friend of a friend at a BBQ, many years ago now. He was elegantly beautiful. Sort of movie star meets businessman. I have a thing for pretty I am told. Well, he was picture perfect. Or so it seemed!

Not only was he educated, funny and smelt amazing – he seemed smitten with me and who doesn’t like when that happens? He was attentive, witty and we had a lot of laughs at our very first meeting. From there, he did everything right..

Got my address off our mutual friend and sent flowers to say he’d loved meeting me (swoon!) then there were phone calls, long lazy ones where we shared lots – he invested a lot of time in his pursuit, I will give him that.

There was also meals and drinks out .. parties attended, movies, ice skating – I really thought I had met a winner. And everyone said we looked good together, it just felt..

Great!

After about 6 weeks of this perfection, he said we had yet another party invite and was I interested. I’d have gone to the opening of a phone book with him had he asked, so a party was never an issue.  I set to glamming myself up – this was a new crowd mostly people I’d not yet met, so he said. Thus I wanted to impress. Sexy lil black dress. Heels .. the usual.

He picked me up (said I looked gorgeous – we liked him more with every meeting!) and we headed into a suburb that was affluent and picturesque – I recall now, I was impressed with the people he hung out with. He seemed very well connected .. I was in my late 20s and these things seem to matter at that age .. or they did to me anyway ..

Upon arrival we were plied with hugs, air kisses and – oddly (although not so much in hindsight!) I had my face stroked by one of the women who was at the door.. I wrote it off as a person who was overly touchy feely, we all know (and avoid!!) one, after all!

We were then told to help ourselves to drinks and boy were they generous hosts!

Didn’t seem to matter what one wanted, it was all there. Including aforementioned drugs.. It was like something out of a movie. I confess to being reasonably naive in my younger days so this display kind of freaked me out but I was trying my best to be all handle it and hang with the cool kids.

I also glued myself to Mr perfect’s side.
For all the good it did me!

Mr Perfect set to introducing me to everyone. And gosh but they were friendly. I lost count of the kisses and gropes I had! For all I like to be part of a crowd, I do recall it was a little .. odd.

About the time I was feeling super uber everything is about when it all started to unravel lol

As I said, I was glued to Mr Perfect’s side .. but the bastard unglued me and disappeared, leaving me in the (literally!) clutches of a very hot but … well, a lot older and OH YEAH FEMALE guest at the party.

Initially, she had done the whole “you’re new to this crowd, why don’t I introduce you” thing. And it was nice to view a friendly face amid the new ones .. not gonna lie there. Not the least cos I’d been ditched by MrBeautifullyperfect (sigh) ..

Then there was the moment I found her hand on my ass.
And her husband attached to hers .. whilst eyeing up mine ..

Should I go on, or do you get the picture?

Suffice to say, Mr Perfect and I – not s’much a happening thing from thereonin 😉

Cougars vs. Girls

I know the difference now! I finally worked it out, an hour or so ago! So exciting! Yes, I know .. I need to get out more!

I think we need to make a sign that goes:

Take a woman to McDonalds and you’ll have a happy time.
Take a girl to McDonalds and you’ll need a new girlfriend.
By all means, get a happy meal on your way out .. alone..

So you will possibly remember that last year I had a profile on a dating website. And I recently started chatting with a very charming man. A Doctor, no less. From England. Everything was looking frightfully proper .. he gave good email,  heck he even phoned me! And he was quite different to the men I tended to go for. Long story but I think we do tend to meet people through work, but since I aint no quack – that was not happening here!

Anyhoo. For us there were long chats. Ascertaining info about each other. Basically, I set to figuring him out before meeting .. this is the downside to online, I think. You kind of judge before even meeting.. anyway .. things came to a head when I cocked up  .. I know, I know! I SHOULD know better ..

But I had to ask!

Why – when you’re sexy as all hell (and oh my, but he is sex on two legs if his pics and skype is anything to go by!) well educated and only aged 29 – would you want to spend time with a woman of my vintage?  Why not spend it with young girls, peers. Friends – whatever. Why even show the slightest interest in an old girl, such as me?

He barely hesitated (and this is what hit me) before saying:

“I find older women more interesting, they’ve done more and they’re just so much .. (he threw in a few adjectives but I’ve chosen to hang onto one!) simpler”
Is it just me or did he just describe a 9yr old labrador?

Ah well, whatever ..  the upshot is we’re going out for drinks next week (our first f2f meeting) but I can’t help myself from wondering is it just because he hopes to avoid the marriage, babies and white picket fence crap that girls seem to want (I know I did, at a much younger age) and hopes for a quick fuck or is it cos he’s kind of into me?

We shall see!

Speaking of what we shall see – I cannot for the life of me see an old lady???

Alone? That’s OK

Google search the word “alone” and you’re returned approx. 5174810 pages. Of pictures in sepia or black and white, of all sorts of things: Sad faced puppies. Children. People. Skulls. Kittens. In puddles. On the edge of a pier. In the rain. With tatty teddy bears. Sad prose. Broken roses.. If one wasn’t depressed when they 1st Googled the damn word they would fast get there!

Wandering along a deserted (it was 5am) beach this morning, I was hit by the realisation that I was thoroughly enjoying being alone. This of course got me to thinking and I started to dissect the word alone.

ALONE. Say it with me: ALONE. Say it out loud: ALONE. It just sounds so negative.

Sure, there are times when the word isn’t all bad. For example: “She couldn’t have done it alone” but even THAT is effectively saying if you ARE alone you’re weak, incapable, incomplete.. Alone, poor you.

To be fair, I tend to go on about alone. Banging on about how I wish I was one half of some sort of decent relationship. If we did a tally up, probably every second entry on my blog says this 😉 So today’s realisation that I was alone, (happily) came as a bit of a shock.

Sometimes I do wonder if people who say “I’m OK alone” are just saying it in the hopes they will one day BE ok but I suppose that is what made today’s realisation so much more of a shock. I did mean it. I felt completely okay with it.

So, as I’ve gone through my Sunday. Alone. I’ve pondered this notion of alone and OK.

I walked the beach. Alone. It was peaceful, soothing and enjoyable. I came home and ate brunch. Alone. Cooked. Alone. By me. Alone. In my home. Alone. It was delicious. Alone. Hmm, I didn’t wash the dishes. I need a house keeper, not a mate? 😉

I went visiting some friends. Alone. They didn’t seem too put out by me being alone. And after an enjoyable visit, I drove home. Alone. Stopping at the shops to buy some champagne. To drink.

Alone.

A little while ago I was on the couch, watching telly. Feet up. Button of my jeans undone (very Al Bundy-esque) bare foot, singlet top. Urban sprawl personified.  Alone, of course.

And I actually grinned to myself as I realised how much I was so totally okay with this being alone thing.

It felt good, that realisation.

Not to say that in a few months (or whatever) I wont think “I don’t wanna be alone” but being happily something when you kind of can’t change it: quite liberating I must say.

Now if you will excuse me, I am off to play music. Loud music. And fold laundry. And do dishes. And maybe go for a walk to the park so I can feed some stale bread to the ducks. And then come home and have a long hot shower, wash my hair and drink some champagne..

You guessed it: ALONE 🙂

Hmpfh, dumped (for the wife!)

I mentioned I had met a man some months back. Not just any man, this one was quite special. That very heady blend of sexy, intelligent and funny. I think I’ve said before, I can handle not having the sexy bit, cos I find a combination of brains and humour in a man dead sexy.  So the package of gorgeous, brains and humour was quite special. Oh how he could make me laugh. Even his texts were a constant source of giggles and delight. Whenever we were together, time flew by – it really was just so.. good.

Except for, oh yeah: his wife. Not so good..

When we met he and the wife were ‘taking a break’. Now I never really got the whole “take a break” thing. Break UP: yes. Break DOWN, sure. Taking a break from a relationship just seems .. weird, to me.

He had been honest about the status of their relationship when we met and I didn’t think anything more of it. Hell at my age every 2nd man is divorced lol

He told me she’d suggested the break, so she could explore her options..  He said he figured she was over the marriage thing so left without too much of a fight, except for access to their 3 children. I actually could understand that, as there really is nothing enjoyable about trying to re-invigorate a relationship that’s passed its use by date.

Fast fwd a few months & she’s back on the scene, crying saying it was all a big mistake and can she have a second chance, the kids miss you and blah bla wah wah blah.

He did what most men would do, I suspect: He went back and is trying to make it work. Damn him 😉

One does have to wonder at the gods some times *sigh* So, lesson learned? I’m not yet sure I’ve found one.. wish me luck please, cos right now I just feel bitter .. and a tad jaded.

Ah well..

I’m actually in love with someone else

But I really do enjoy spending time with you and hope we can continue to do this?

That is the line uttered to me just now. Or 2 hours ago, I should say. I’ve spent the last wee while staring at the wall (and drinking gin — lots) whilst trying to work out why the universe thinks it’s so funny to fuck with me this way (I’m actually laughing as I type that bit but in a teeth-gritted sorta way!) 😉

Ahh hell..!

Yeah so Mr nice guy – who is really nice – is in love with a woman who isn’t in love with him. Yes. I asked. It’s like tooth ache – I had to go there! From my asking, an hour long discussion ensued. About the woman of his dreams. (ie not ME!) but instead about a woman he’s madly in love with ..

A woman who does not share those feelings. Yet.
He hopes.

So he’s trying to move on. His words..

If moving on means dating someone else, he’d be right – we’d all agree, yes? And hey, honesty IS the best policy, everyone knows this! But uh yeah he’s IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Let’s not lose sight of those words. Cos HONESTLY, talking to him and watching his face as he talked. He aint moving on. He’s just trying to.

But he’s in love.. Poor man.

Ah well. Back to the drawing board we go lol

Breaking up (r)

This is in part inspired by Edward Hotspur, a blogger I always enjoy. Reading or whatever 😉

I think reposting old content is really sensible, it may bring “new” readers up to speed or attract new readers. We won’t dwell on how it may bore “long term” readers to tears. Let’s hope they can cope *grins*

Not sure I am doing this right tho but here –> when is it right? is a link to a blog post I made almost a year ago. About when the time is right to end a  long term relationship.. Something I was in the throes of doing!

Enjoy!

(World’s worst!) Blogger award

I’ve been an awful blogger lately and I’m sorry. I read a lot of blogs [but don’t comment because I find it tedious to do so on my phone] I read everyone’s comments on my blog [again on my phone but can’t bear to reply because it’s just too painful] .. Every now and then I get in front of a real computer, only to spit out a rant and then vanish back inside myself.

Refer earlier “worst ever blogger” award statement.

Because I KNOW this isn’t a good way to be. I know if I commented on a blog and was largely ignored I’d probably give up, thinking the blogger was a total asshole. And I don’t want you to think I am a total asshole .. Or even an incomplete one 😦

But honest to god, I don’t know where to go right now or what to do. I am so confused. I’m so stressed out. So unhappy and yet sort of OK all at once. Refer earlier “confused!” comment..

After my trek to the other side of the planet, I came back semi-sorted mentally, thinking I knew where I needed to be. Mentally, I honest to god, tried to move on. And I moved on physically, to assist in the transition.

But he won’t go away. He’s kept in touch. However it’s not actually a good thing, a bunch of stuff is going down – almost all of which just serves to confuse me right now.

So yeah, I’m pissed off, upset, angry, hurt and confused. Awesome combo eh? 😦

But enough of this, really I just wanted to say hey .. and sorry .. for being an asshole. For being AWOLand awful. I miss the chit chat I used to enjoy on assorted blogs. I miss having fun on WP.

And I appreciate the fact that you’re sticking it out and putting up with me while I’m in this total state of limbo. So here’s an award for you!

Thanks for not giving up on me!

xo

Online dating – A bit of a rant

I think I mentioned some time back I’d joined a dating website. Ever since then my life has been enriched in so many ways that I felt it was time to share some of it with you.

Why just this morning I was sent an invitation to share my wardrobe with a man aged 52. To spank a man aged 32. And to watch DVDs (after a walk on the beach in the sunset, to be fair) with a man of 60+.

I can’t bring myself to tell you what the boy of 22 wanted me to do to / with him. For all it coulda been fun *grins*

Below are a few excerpts from my inbox:

Hi, I’m a guy who enjoys being teased and disciplined by women. It would be great to chat with, maybe meet a woman who would enjoy having some fun along these lines – spanking me would be a good start. I realise that this is a most unusual request so I apologise in advance if you’re offended by this. What do you think so far? Hope to hear from you soon. From: Naughty boy A 32 year old Male seeking Friendships

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Now to clarify – my profile is as vanilla as can be. I re-read it today to be sure. NOWHERE do I say I’d be even remotely curious about some man getting his jollies while I spank him. GEEEEEEEZ!

For all I was delighted with his grammar, I just sent him something along the lines of “really???!!?” and then blocked his unspanked ass.

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The most offensive (call me a prude but it really did irritate me) was the fact that this man even VIEWED my profile. I should be grateful he had the brains (?) not to message me:

“York Hunt 45yr old man seeking serious relationships” .. It was only when I said his name out loud that I just kinda snorted but not in a good way. Jerk. And he’s after a serious relationship with anything more than his hand or something totally vile??

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This next one made me laugh. Albeit more a derisive snort than a humourous “how funny” kinda laugh.

Professional intelligent guy looking to communicate with intelligent lady. I Enjoy wine, music, DVD’s, no pressure etc. Pretty easy to get on with.

That was his tag line. It wasn’t too bad, I thought!?

He reiterates in the “what he’s looking for” section:

Lady who is easy to communicate with, fun, likes to laugh , sense of humour.

A FRIENDLY HELLO, HOPE YOUR DAY HAS BEEN FAVOURABLE… <– his first msg to me.

SO far so good!  Hell he even spelt favourable right, (for this side of the planet) presuming we ignore the caps lock!

And so I reply:

 “hey! My day wasn’t too shabby thanks, how was yours?”

GOOD. I’m Horny tho. Can you help?

I sent him a link to a porn site.
Not heard from him since.
Guess I helped? 😉

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My all time fave was this one, I’ve copied and pasted his entire profile to give additional context:

Newbie seeking to dressup…

Please send a message so we can chat… Im quite ‘normal’ actually…

The important characteristics I’m looking for:
Someone who can cope with a crossdresser… one behind closed doors anyway…

So, in his message to me he suggested we were the same sized clothes and asked if I’d like to chat.

I quizzed him on his breast size. As well, I may have mentioned my only child status and a dislike of sharing. He never replied.
These men have NO staying power, I swear! 😉

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And last but not least, for today anyway this delightful profile made me want to stab myself in the eyes to get away from it:

i njoy dining out lov to travel nce cars out for nce meals

WHERE ARE THE VOWELS?
*stabs eyes*

That was his FIRST email to me followed a few minutes later by a reminder “WELL?”

My reply?
 “Read my damn profile” <– Angry drunk 😉

Oh god he replied.

“I hv”

Being polite (for reasons that elude me!) I sent a “Goodnight”

A G A I N he REPLIES?!

“U to.”

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Now for additional insight into my somewhat (from the above exchange, anyway!) uptight personality, here is my profile:

Looking for friends? (My heading)

I’m passionate, intelligent, energetic and told I’m fun to be around. Reasonably easy-going, I suspect ‘laid back’ could be a bit of a stretch – I’m just not into dramas, life really is too short for that. Some random info about me:  I have an aversion to stupid and / or mean people. I’ve never eaten oysters. I love fast cars & French champagne, both of which you’ll be pleased to know I can afford without you.

Oh and I absolutely loathe shoe shopping.

There’s 2 sections to each profile so I can add what I seek, as well as what I offer and I have the following:

My wish list would include a man who’s tall and around my age. Healthy + intelligent.. Oh and you MUST have a sense of humour!  At the end of the day we each have our own personal preferences so have a read and see if there’s anything here you think we can work with.

PS: Can we please communicate in ‘real’ words? My brain hrts readng txt spk!

Aint life grand .. Or at the least? It sure as heck isn’t ever boring lol

A plea, to the code cutters of WP

Just because you CAN, does not mean you should.. I’m tired of $#@! trying to find things because one of you has decided we need to have multiple tabs to view our stats and stuff. I liked the table format for reading blogs under assorted topics. I’m fed up with not being able to easily read the comments I’ve made on other blogs. But at the same time, WTF were you thinking with the emailed comments check box bizzo?

I read and comment on a lot of very busy blogs. My inbox is having conniptions thanks to the new spam check box you’ve developed! Have you people not heard of the unsolicited email laws? Ok it probably doesn’t count since this is the WWW and a blog but OMG please change it back, that functionality chaps my ass.

*stomps off in a huff* 

Europe, Porn and Sexy lingerie

So yeah, apparently I’ve been a bit quiet (for me! LOL) Well it’s been kinda .. hectic .. in my world. In the last few weeks I have:

Moved towns, travelled 11801 miles to end a relationship*, been on a date with what seemed like the perfect man only to have to ask him to leave long before HE thought it was over and did I mention I quit my job after a scrap with a very high ranking govt official?

Mmm. Been a funny ol’ time for LITFL!

But let’s start with the *Paris trip. Going back a little bit now, we had the “break up because of the distance thing” followed by quite a few phone calls, texts and emails – more than one would expect from a guy who’s saying “this isn’t going to work” as he jets off overseas.

I became confused and thought maybe there was a chance it’d work but needed to know more. And so, on a total (and very expensive, ffs!) whim – flew to Paris to surprise / confront his nibs.

It went fabulously ’til the last day I was there and then it all came crashing down. The distance thing .. the lack of intimacy .. the lack of closeness .. it’s just insurmountable, it seems.

I flew home to a total shitstorm in my work situation (albeit not a total surprise) but on being smacked around a time or two too many, I had already told all the wrong people to shove it pre Europe and so I walked.

And when I say walked? I upped and left town!

I know. I don’t do things by halves lol

And so we have me now living in a different city, single. Alone, save for my 2 cats.
And kinda OK ..

I really like the above pic because there are – honest to god – days when I say to anyone “I’m cool” when I’m anything but. Not sure I’d cope with the wrong people saying “no you’re not, here’s a hug” but I like the concept for all that.

Now I KNOW I will be ok, long term. After all, I don’t have an incurable disease, a kidnapped child or anything that is really serious. I have an inability to find the right man. White woman problem. I get it.

But hey this is my blog and I’m giving an update of what’s going on and how I feel about it. Don’t like it? Don’t approve? Think I’m being a wanker? Fuck off. Oops I mean, cheers .. but please, leave me to sort myself out without your judgement, I just don’t need it.

Oh and the title of this blog? Well duh I packed lingerie, I bought video porn (albeit unintentional for all the haughty Frenchman at reception didn’t believe me) and .. well I went to Europe!

Yes, I know .. I left out the awful date, that’s a-whole nother entry in the making lol

Men shouldn’t read self-help books!

Some of you may recall my post about love languages. And that mine was “quality time” closely followed by touch .. Mr New had jokingly said his was “physical touch” when I first asked him (to which I replied: typical male! lol) but after he read the book, we learned it really was! Closely followed by quality time. So we are reasonably similar in our love languages.

And yes, you read that right: Mr New read the damn book. I was very surprised when he told me he’d read it, but I quizzed him (suspicious type that I am) sufficiently on the subject to realise he had in fact gone out and done just that. He said I’d raved about it, so he wanted to see what it was about..

Anyway, this book came up many times in the discussions held before he disappeared off to Europe for the rest of the year. In my more rational moments, I accept his statements as probably fair and reasonable. Some might even call them logical and sensible.

However since he left .. He’s just a jerk who ditched my ass 😉

Oddly, there’s something quite disconcerting about sitting talking earnestly with someone who SO isn’t into drama & theatrics. With someone who’s very much a “funny guy who likes to make me laugh” .. As opposed to the “Let’s sit and have a lovely long chat about our feelings, over a hot cup of tea, dear” type.

I say disconcerting because you know they’re very serious if they do such a thing and in this case – we all know how serious it was and how crap it panned out to be.

Sorry, this entry is all over the show .. Ah sod it, this is my blog. I can meander at random, if I want. Besides, it’s 3.45 in the morning and I’ve been awake since Mr New called me an hour ago. Seems he forgot the time difference thing ..  Jackass.

So yeah, this entry was meant to be about how a self-help book motivated a man to dump me. You see, his rationale for saying “let’s not do this long distance thing” was almost solely because of him reading that damn book.

Because we BOTH need, enjoy, want (D – all of the above!) to spend loads of time with someone when we care about them. And because Skype and emails and phone calls don’t quite rate as “quality time” .. the options (to him, anyway) seemed clear.

And so that is what bought us to where we’re at now .. Him just landed to work in Europe. Me left behind, both of us (I suspect) wondering what will happen in the future. All because of a damn self help book, whoda thunk it?

Clearly I need to read different types of books! So yeah, Elizabeth, when is the Mirrors of Bershan trilogy gonna be ready?!? 😉

I’ll see ya .. (Bye)

So yeah, I could be ever so slightly drunk as I type this post. Nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking out in the blazing sun with a few friends (It is a beautiful day here in godzone as we hang onto sunshine in the vain hope Winter isn’t lurking just around our corner of the globe!)

No. I suspect my being ever so slightly drunk could be more to do with the fact I’ve been drinking since … well, since earlier in the day ..

Since right after Mr New flew off to Europe.

We’ve spent a week agonising over choices. Talking things through. Crying. Talking. Talking. Crying. Cuddling. Talking. Crying. Talking about options. Talking about the future .. talking about choices ..

Til eventually, he made his . .

“In fairness to you, let’s just say it’s over and if we reconnect when I come back – All good.” Inference being if we don’t, well who the fuck cares anyway.

The fact he let them bring his going away date forward. The fact he seemed totally OK with saying “cya”. The fact he said “just”. The fact he seemed distant at the airport. The fact he kissed me on the nose as he departed ..

All (and more) are reasons why I’ve been drinking since a rather-too-early time of day.

So yeah, that’s the update on my life.. as it currently reads. Sorry for the radio silence, I’ve been reading your blogs for all I’ve not posted on many .. I just couldn’t..

Anyway, happy easter everyone.

Friends in need (Pains indeed!)

A dear friend of mine dropped in today .. just as I was busy settling into a fabulously filthy black mood ..  And I have to grumble that his presence completely threw me off! All I wanted was to sit and be miserable and instead this jerk turned up ..

And made me laugh!

See, we have this private joke .. it came about many years ago when I was bitching and moaning during a fat day and (horrible man that he is!) said friend grabbed my chin (And to be honest: I do only have one but still..) he looked me deep in the eyes and .. Well, before I go on .. I have to admit, I expected words of great wisdom to be uttered and instead, I got:

“Chins up darlin‘ .. ”

Delivered dead pan .. til I absorbed what he said .. then punched him, as we fell about giggling.

Fate (for all a fickle bitch) has it that this friend arrived because HE has done the long distance thing before and as my best best friend – he’s able to be blunt as hell about it, based on his experience .. but he also knows me well enough to know what my issues are, and what may or may not work for me.

His boyfriend – someone he cared deeply for even – disappeared off to live and work in Europe some years ago. And as we both lamented (him from experience, me from checking online!) the cost of getting from the bottom of the world to the top is prohibitive.

Not only that but as he said: “girl, it is very hard to look fabulously sexy when you’ve just spent 35 hours wedged into a flying coffin along with the seething, snoring and generally awful masses!”

Anyway, we sat and talked about his experience and how hard it was. About the good parts (the times spent together after time spent apart) and the bad (the fact that you are miserable half the time you’re together because you’re counting down to their departure!) and how it might or might not pan out with Mr New.

Long story short, no friggen idea if things can work or not .. but on a plus note I didn’t commit harekare (sp!) or drink my breakfast .. NOR did I get the chance to collapse in a heap and be a drama queen either and for that, I GUESS I should thank my friend.

Damn him 😉

Do long distance relationships work?

Mr New and I had our “serious discussion” yesterday evening .. it ended with me in tears and him looking angry (and maybe a little sad) as he walked out my apartment door ..

And you all wonder why I am unconvinced about this whole love thing or more to the point – with my chances at ever finding a man who will stay around?!?

*sigh*

Tis fair to say I am in danger of being ever-so-slightly melodramatic today, cos this “discussion” has really thrown me. It’s not as bad as it could be, I suppose. He doesn’t have (nor want!) 14 kids..

Instead, Mr New has taken a job overseas. Okay that isn’t 100% accurate: he’s going overseas for his work .. For at least 6 months. Maybe longer .. Definitely no less than 6 months ..Yes, I asked lol

And so I am here thinking “now what?” His thinking is we do the long distance thing.

My thinking is “why the $#@! can’t I keep a man?!”
*grins*

Okay okay, I know it’s not as bad as all that but .. long distance relationships .. really?

Oh and the reason he left in a huff was because I pretty much accused him of having an affair with some hot European chick as soon as he got there (ah shaddup, I was shocked and acting ever so slightly pissy!)

Actually he left because we were going ’round in circles with the discussion and I suggested he go .. Call it tactical: it was to prevent me saying dumb shit I’d later regret. Cos I was so not thinking with a logical brain, once he delivered his news!

Worst of all? I forgot to even say congratulations, cos it’s basically a promotion .. so that felt pretty bad. I sent a text offering my congrats and such after he left .. bit late then huh 😦

If you will excuse me, I’m off to sink into a deep depression whilst out running into the sunrise (just to be different!) .. The best thing about running? Leaves you so tired you have no capacity to do anything, including send whiny texts 😉

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