The whole idea behind a pity party is to be miserable and make everyone around you miserable. Least that’s what my research tells me. Since it’s Spring here and there’s delicious little lambs a-frolicking, daffodils and freesias everywhere one looks and sunshine — endless sunshine (as I type this it’s 5.20pm and I’m sitting in blazing sunshine!) I confess, it’s proving to be hard to feel too pitiful. Update: it’s now 8am Saturday morning and the sun is shining (again!) and once more: it’s all good.
However, I was invited to have one and by heck I am going to give it my best shot! Below is a list of stuff that makes me go wah or irks me and feeds into my feeling pitiful now and then:
1. It disturbs me that the most read post on my blog is “fuck buddy wanted” – ya’ll are sick sick people!
2. It pisses me off that I have cold feet right now. If someone would please come gently place my slippers on my cold tootsies, I’d be appreciative .. really I would! <– haha wrote that last night and it stands this morning, I really am a lazy cow
3. I dislike the fact that every time I open a bottle of wine or champagne, it damn well drains itself dry — what IS that about?
4. I am exceptionally vexed by the fact that I seem to have picked up man-flu recently. Holy crap how you boys survive this: totally beyond me. I want to die. Or be nursed back to good health. By a hot nurse. No wait, I’m hot (friggen feverish, no less) whatevs, I just hate being sick and that really could be the theme of my own very pathetic pity party.
5. A good friend of mine died this week after what can only be called an arduous battle with cancer. If I could. I’d eradicate that cell splitting pile of shit from the universe, forthwith.
6. My eye balls ache. I am unsure if this is from the champagne and drug cocktail I had last night (medicinal!!) or from the man-flu? But it isn’t nice.
7. I sound like a man. Talking to a friend of mine yesterday and he honest to god fell about laughing when I answered the phone, then advised me I sounded like his chain smoking 87yr old Grand-dad. Jerk. I need better friends.
8. My taste buds are on strike. I didn’t even enjoy my morning 3 shot espresso and as anyone who knows me knows: This is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning *grumps*
Oh and if anyone knows how I can make and then post a sound file of myself for your amusement, post a comment with the site and instructions and I’ll give it a whirl when I return from my shopping expedition. I need more drugs to keep these man flu germs at bay .. back in a bit.
PS some random blogs I read and enjoy include (but are definitely not limited to) many, such as I’ve linked to here. Click on any of the words hyperlinked / underlined and check them out. Some will be attending the Pity party, others won’t — but all are very much worth a read and often drag me from my pity party place, when I dive into their worlds for a read 🙂
When I think “Edward Hotspur“, my mind immediately conjures up a raft of adjectives. Prolific writer (and due to his awesome readers, his comments are almost as good a read as his blog .. Of course, one could possibly .. just maaaybe blame this lady in some ways ..;) ) Other adjectives include satirical, iconic. Laconic. A bit of a twit with a weird fetish about unicorns (that pee rainbows, preferably).
I first “met” Edward Hotspur when he commented on my blog back in September last year.
I’ve stalked him ever since 😉
In preparation for this post, I googled him this morning and then trawled thru to page 12 before getting bored with trying to find just ONE page without a reference to him. (Short attention span, I blame the drugs) one thing did leap out at me when I was doing the search tho, and I thought it was quite apt:
“Nefarious Wit And Devastating Charm: Edward Hotspur” – No idea if he tweeted it about himself or where it came from but I liked it!
Anyway, all I can say is – Happy Flash mob day, EH! And to everyone else? You’d be a mug not to read him!
When this lovely lady suggested we flash someone, at first I wasn’t sure but then I figured what the heck – we only live once, that we know of and so.. ooh hold on, lemme re-read. WOOOAH, turns out she said flash MOB! *buttons my top back up* That was close..!
Anyone who’s been on-line awhile knows that the interweb is brimming with fabulous people. People who enrich our lives with laughter, craziness and even, at times, pain and sadness. I guess that blend is simply called life and this fabulous lady shares hers with us in her very unique and amusing fashion.
But that’s not all – You see today is her birthday!
So this is my shout out to the birthday girl!
Here’s wishing you the happiest birthday ever, all the way from the other side of the world, Hobbler. You rock!
To view said fabulous lady’s blog just click on any of the graphics above
And just cos it made me laugh, a video for the occasion:
Just because you CAN, does not mean you should.. I’m tired of $#@! trying to find things because one of you has decided we need to have multiple tabs to view our stats and stuff. I liked the table format for reading blogs under assorted topics. I’m fed up with not being able to easily read the comments I’ve made on other blogs. But at the same time, WTF were you thinking with the emailed comments check box bizzo?
I read and comment on a lot of very busy blogs. My inbox is having conniptions thanks to the new
spam check box you’ve developed! Have you people not heard of the unsolicited email laws? Ok it probably doesn’t count since this is the WWW and a blog but OMG please change it back, that functionality chaps my ass.
*stomps off in a huff*
I started blogging almost a year ago and have found some fab blogs in that time. Many of you will know that in the blogosphere there is any number of awards going around but today this is just MY show and tell of the blogs that I follow / enjoy for no reason other than that I’d like to share them.
OK I lie .. In return for my sharing these gems with you, I challenge you to read one (or more!) and post a comment about your fave. Ready? GO for it!
I hope you enjoy these blogs as much as I do. And to everyone above, thank you for being a part of my world. I appreciate each and every one of you!
A sweet blog friend of mine posted (in his usual laconic fashion) an “award” (spam?) sort of post and I was fortunate enough to be included in the mix. The deal is you tag people and force them to answer random Q’s. I rather liked his approach: He tagged people and left them to choose the Q’s they responded to.
I think I will do the same but may .. if the mood takes me .. reply to all his questions, as set out below. Let’s see how I go.
What do you regret having done?
If there is one thing I have learned in my 40+ yrs of breathing it’s not to waste too much time regretting. Best advice I can give ANYONE is to find the “good” (or lesson?) in whatever may make you wince .. And instead of regretting it, try and go “OK, so I learned X”.
I know it sounds corny as hell but oh man it’s helpful. Trust me.
What would you change if you could go back and change it?
I would be brave enough to say no to everyone (family, friends and him!) when my (ex) husband asked me to marry him all those years ago.
Have you ever been scared of anything?
Many times, many things. Who can honestly say NO to this question!?
When have you been the happiest in your life?
When I have been happy. Der .. OK OK fine .. um. thinking .. thinking .. When I have been loved. And that doesn’t just the mean male / female “romance” sort of love.
What is your favorite position?
How many sexual partners have you had?
This week? This year? Ever?? I need more parameters before I can possibly reply to this, damnit!!
What is your credit card number, including expiration date and that three-digit code off the back?
Not being an American dun’ mean I can’t claim the 5th, right? (FYI in most circumstances, by law .. I cannot claim it but I’m gunna!)
Who do you think you are?
I’m me. And I’m (for the most part) OK.
Do these pants make me look fat?
No, it was those up-sized fries, the waffles and jelly donuts ..
What is your favorite thing about yourself?
I like my resilience. And by hell, do I very much need it at times 😉
Who in the blogosphere is your favorite person?
Too many to list but here’s a few – why not check them out? You may find I have incredibly good taste in blogs!
PS Have fun answering these questions .. I look fwd to the read!
I’ve decided it’s time to update my “about me” page! For all I kinda tend to bare all, maybe there is something about me you don’t know but always wished you did? *snort* Whatever, if you’d like to – Please leave your question/s below in the comments section and I will answer them Q&A style (as best I can!)
I need something to distract me from thinking so hopefully this will do it … Meantime:
In light of the fact that I have nothing to complain about in my love life – which was the sole reason I started this blog – I’ve taken to stalking other blogs! So now you will find me loitering in murky corners, observing their ideas .. And then stealing ’em!
Or doing their random projects ..
Cool, that’s twice in as many days!
Below is my album cover:
Want to make your album cover? Ok, well the deal is:
1) Go to Wikipedia. Click on Random Page. This is your band’s name.
2) Choose a number between 3 and 7, inclusive. Go to Google searching for Random Quotes. Randomly click on an entry on the first page, and once on the page, go down the number you picked. That’s your quote. Choose consecutive words anywhere in that quote equal to the number you picked. That’s your album title.
3) Go to Google again and insert the words you didn’t use for your album title. Search for images. Choose the third picture on page 2. That’s your album pic.
4) Go to Picnik. Edit together your picture, band name and album title. There’s your album cover!
Oh and make sure you post it so we can all see 😉
After a great Saturday night out with friends I woke up horribly hungover today and – as I sat in the bedroom pondering the meaning of life – or more to the point: why I didn’t have a coffee machine in my bedroom.. I was reminded of something someone had said to me during our night out. But it’s so rude oh wait it’s in the subject line doh ..
Ah well, can’t win ’em all. Or is that “shit happens” – Hmm, maybe both are apt!
Which segways neatly to yet another random thought: Isn’t it cool how the internet is overflowing with information?
Without a doubt one of the most common – and one I take full advantage of on my blog – is love themed quotes for women. Tis fair to say that some of them very much feed my romance with communication. Sure, some quotes can be a bit corny and some poignant, with others being simply inspirational.
But all of them somehow speak to this confused heart of mine.
Yeah me too ..
You see, this entry is inspired (or instructed, really!) by the Infamous Hobbler <– Click her name to go have a read of her entry then come back and let me know which are my 3 .. !
So I’m a Capricorn. Do you know what capricorns are famous for? Being assholes. We’re cold, “stoic”, methodical, stuck up, calculating and generally awful. Some days I don’t think I am a very good Capricorn .. cos, well .. I’m not that methodical.. 😉
But it is helpful to be Capricorn (this is where the stoic thing comes in handy). For example: the times when your more liberal / artsy friends drag you to a show or poetry reading. I don’t know why they bother, but they do!
And so it is we may sometimes be found in the latest trendy art gallery – confronted with a bunch of stuff that I don’t even pretend to understand .. and these friends, well.. bless their hemp socks – they look at me with pained and anxious expressions .. as my eyes glaze over (only focussing when I check my watch..)
Of course, I DO know why they take me along – so they can josh me about it later, not for any altruistic reasons. Cos the bastards take turns to mock me mercilessly afterwards, as we relax in a place where I’m far more at home: a bar or restaurant.
Another thing I am often mocked for is my taste in music. Or lack of taste, some would say.
See the thing is I like a wide range of music. Be it popular, hip hop, opera, country or rock. Although I do tend to err toward easy. (Like I prefer my men!) Give me Elton, Billy, Eric, or the Eagles any day!
I’m old, I like to understand the words and
caterwaul sing along.
So it’s fair to say that whenever I am around people who really “get” their music (and there’s more than a few of you out there on WordPress) I feel terribly insecure and just a liddle stupid.
Bit like when I am in the book shop getting the latest Dan Brown blockbuster novel and the dude next to me in the queue is tightly clutching “Letters from Ayn Rand” or – as already mentioned, I’m in an art gallery and I cannot for the life of me see what everyone else sees..
Where am I going with this?
Well, Mr New is a music fan. And he sent me the link to this song overnight, telling me it was his favourite song at the moment. I have to confess, I have never listened to a Metallica song in my life. Or if I have, I didn’t know it was them..
But for all that lack of awareness, this song wasn’t what I was expecting .. it was a lot ‘softer’ than I expected their music to be..
So tell me .. What do the lyrics say and / or mean?!?
Yeah yeah, I know .. Don’t over-analyse. But I wanna! And I can’t .. cos I’m not a music officianado.. *grumbles*
Recently I mentioned that I am horribly high maintenance and that – having been burned in the past – I have a tendency to let some of my issues drive my actions and / or my thoughts. Which of course means there is a very real danger of these things impacting my future.
And this annoys me! Not the least because it’s just plain dumb to do (and I like to think I am not a dumb person) but moreso because I can’t seem to bloody stop it from happening..
It comes down to fear, really doesn’t it. For all I have to say fearful is not an adjective many people would use when they think of me! Scary maybe but not scared. 😉
So, why am I scared? Because it’s horrible when you give in to something as big as “love” and it doesn’t work out. It’s that simple..
However as the person who’s always dispensing the advice: “Don’t be silly, give it a go – worst case scenario you try and it doesn’t work then just learn from it and move on.. That way it’s a lesson as opposed to a waste of time!”
etc etc blah blah blah ..
Well, let’s just say they’re easy words to spout but it turns out they’re not so easy to apply over one’s own insecurities and actions. 😉
Mr New is still in Europe but still being fabulous. I have had a dreadful week with one thing and another and he’s actively attempted to give comfort from afar which has been helluva cute .. And very reassuring. Particularly when you remember his “lack of drama” preference lol
I have come to the conclusion that Mr New deserves a real chance. By this I mean he deserves to not have me be a wanker, filled with silly insecurities. A second-guesser. A worry-wart (and general pain in the arse.)
He is entitled (and I’d guess he “wants”) to be with someone who’s going to accept him at face value, appreciate all the awesome things that he brings to the table and not conjure up issues or imagine things that (at this point, anyway) never manifest themselves, in our current ‘relationship’.
I know this won’t be simple to do but as per my “trust” blog post, I am determined to give it my best shot and do believe I will reap the benefits as a result of my (hard!) work and efforts at controlling this head crap I lug about with me!
In keeping with this theme, someone sent me this pic (below) today, someone who knows my past and how I tend to over-think things .. And I wanted to share it with you all. Because it made me go “wow, yes” and I think some of you will also appreciate it..
One of the “issues” I lug around is probably due to the fact that I’ve been let down by men I thought I could trust.. and I realised this weekend just how much it affects my thinking ..And any relationship I enter into..
Trust is such a fragile thing and I don’t trust easily, that is fair to say. I think, maybe in the past I did. But as I’ve gotten older (and been bitten) I’ve learned to be a bit more circumspect in my approach.
All this means is that I may trust a little .. or even quite a bit .. because at the end of the day I want to .. Bu-uut in the back of my mind there’s always that lil voice that reminds me of how shit it was the last time I trusted someone (and got crapped on from a great height!) and to be a bit cautious.
And – if my mind is in the wrong place – this can cause me a lot of angst! Aint issues grand! 😉
But in saying this, I guess there must come a time when one has to “man up” and decide if in fact those issues we’re clinging to – for whatever reasons, are worth hanging on to.
Although I have to say, I dunno that I consciously hold onto issues, they’re just kinda there. Like I’ve tossed a bit of rubbish in the backseat of my car .. I may not be able to see it but it’s there nonetheless.
So it’s really only at times of introspection that I stop and assess logically (open the back door of the car and go “OMG, WHAT A MESS!”) what it is that I am thinking, what I am feeling and then try to probe the why ..
I had a mini-meltdown yesterday which is what has provoked these thoughts.
All because Mr New dared to not be in “appropriate” (Which by my definition, as you will know is “LOTS .. AND NOW DAMNIT”) communication with me whilst he is working over in Europe. Yeah, I know .. Even reading that sentence I grimace at how badly it reads.
Ah shaddup, this is the reality of me and my past / baggage surfacing 😉
Really, we’d been in reasonable contact over the weekend, considering the time zones so I can’t really complain. Oh by the way – this is rational LITFL typing. But yesterday, my irrational and very vocal evil twin was busy telling me that I’d NOT heard anywhere near enough from him and that I wasn’t being treated properly AT all. And she’s verrrry convincing, damn her.
Remembering Mr New’s preferences (Not clingy, not hellishly emotional, No drama) I was very good. Instead of picking up the phone and
stalking his ass calling him for no reason at all, I sent a couple of nice texts and then proceeded to get horribly drunk with a couple of girlfriends.
Note: This system of relationship management only works if you relinquish your laptop, cell phone and any form of communication device, just so you know. Cos after a few rounds you may well think it’s a brilliant idea to call him up and yeah well, that call never goes so good, in my xp 😉
As seems to be the case with Mr New, he did just the right thing tho. He called me before going to the office. Yes, Sunday – what can I say, he’s a workaholic. I am too, so we’re a good match!
I had just hauled my woefully drunken arse into bed when the phone rang. Trying to sound moderately sober, I engaged in what I hope was witty and intelligent conversation for an hour or so before being told to get to sleep ..
And as he hung up he said “I’ll talk to you in a few hours k” and that was when, even thru the liquid-faction that had taken place in my brain, it dawned on me.
I think I can trust this one.
Or at the least? I’m gonna have to friggen learn how to and soon, because he travels a lot and I can’t keep drinking this way or my liver will give up the ghost and he’ll probably dump me for being a total booze-hag!
So people, wish me luck please. I am gonna have a hack at letting this one thru’ the defences a little further than I have the last couple of men who’ve been brave (or silly) enough to want to spend time with me.
I’m an equal mix of excited and terrified .. But hey – bring it on 😉
My love language is Quality time. What this means is that I’m the chick you see clinging to a man’s leg as he heads off to work. The one spotted waiting at the mailbox eagerly for him to return home. And of course, in between those two activities, I am emailing, texting and calling him to see how his day is going or at the least I am pining and thinking about him. I just can’t get enough of him, and am generally a complete pain in the arse ..
That’d be me on top trying to stop him from going anywhere without me .. 😉
Seriously tho, I have to say that knowing what my love language is hasn’t overly helped me .. It’s just now I have a name for it. I mean heck, any of you regular readers know by now that I am high maintenance. And I already knew that I enjoyed and / or required a lot of time with my love interest.
I suppose the best thing about it having a name is that I can tell said love interest .. And blame the book instead of me! 😉
Mr New called last night. He’s in Europe .. Buying me expensive presents .. (So he told me anyway) Which is kinda funny cos that is one of the languages of love and the one that rated lowest in my scoring. I could give 2 hoots about getting gifts, I want his time and attention.
It seemed the perfect time to introduce him to the concept, so I briefly took him thru’ the languages and asked him which one he thought was his. He instantly said “Physical touch”. Typical male, was my first thought but to be fair – we’ve all met that man for whom this isn’t their language and so I bit my tongue and we carried on talking about this whole love lingo topic.
I think it was good for him to hear me explain my need for time and input and I was very good: I said lots of positive things about how amazingly well he was doing on satisfying my need
to cling. for quality time.
Cos he so is! I mean heck – it was 6am in the morning, he was jet-lagged and letting me blather on about some nonsense I’d read in a self-help book when really I am willing to bet he would have preferred to be
carving his eyes out with a blunt razor sleeping 😉
After I had taken my quality time and Mr New had gone off to bed, I sat thinking a little about the whole love language thing and it dawned on me! I worked out one of the reasons why I have a string of failed relationships .. In particular, the reason why I tend to smother (and freak them out!) and cosset a man, in the early days of a relationship.
It’s all because of my $#@! love language! Think about it..
I need, enjoy, require – call it what you will – having time and effort invested in me, in order to feel content or secure in a relationship. My love language goes something like this:
“Nothing says, ‘I love you,’ like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.”
And without really knowing it, I have applied the same language to any man in my life. Because *I* need and value it, I figure they will too. When in fact their love language may well be anything but the need for time and attention to be lavished upon them..
Not sure how this new found awareness will help me, but I guess if I apply it to my relationship with Mr New .. Knowing about his need for touch as well as his desire for freedom and excitement with a non-clingy mate – then at the very least it will prevent me from overwhelming him with stuff that *I* think he wants, but that he could give 2 hoots about.
Sheesh@ hard work .. Tell me again, why do we keep at this relationship bizzo? 😉
I’m gonna guess that every woman who’s ever done the dating thing has probably had a date just like this before. You know – the one with the cute guy .. The cute guy that you made cry ..
No? Just me?!?
I have to say (in my defence) that I do not think I am an overly mean or unkind person. Sure, I’d definitely not fit the category of “super nice” but I’m not the most ball-busting kinda girl you ever met either. Well.. Maybe at work .. but in my personal life, I’m a complete sap ..
So to find myself in the situation of having a crying man in my bedroom was a little .. disconcerting .. to say the least!
During a dating phase (that lead to the series of dating disasters posts) a friend introduced cute guy and I via email.. We lived a few hundred miles away from each other and spent a few weeks exchanging some quite fun emails til the day came when we decided to meet up.
As per my “impatient female” thing, I like to meet fairly quickly when doing the online thing. Simply because I find things can move faster online and if there’s no chemistry in real life – tis best both parties know this!
Which perhaps segways neatly to another thing that always perplexes me – How some people seem so much funner electronically, than they are in real life!?
So anyway this guy duly rocks up to my town .. On the train. Which I did find kinda weird, but figured ..actually I don’t remember, it was a long time ago now. All I remember is thinking it was weird! That said, I picked him up at the station and we came back to my place where we sat and talked for awhile.. a long while.
Or so it felt, because O H M Y G O D this man was stultifyingly boring..
Every conversation I started was killed within a few short sentences. Every single door (conversational) slammed shut .. it was the most bewildering few hours ever spent!
But I’m no quitter. I boxed on! After all, the guy had uh, trained here from a few hours away and I felt I owed him something .. Or I’m a dreamer and just hoped it’d get better .. !?
Now maybe this next bit makes me a hussy but we’d covered a bit of ground during our chats before meeting and the concept of him coming to stay was something I was comfortable with.
And so, when evening fell and we made our way to the boudoir it’s fair to say I was .. bemused by how things went..
He stepped out of the en-suite and presented himself fully clad .. in flannel pajamas. Hot, I know..
Now I have to say I don’t believe I have EVER met a man who doesn’t happily disport himself about the place naked. You just seem totally cool with all your bits hanging out. So to be met by a man primly standing, book in hand (I know, right?) in his jimjams at the foot of my bed was .. weird.
Let’s roll with weird as today’s adjective.
I won’t go into gory details but let’s just say that our evening of “fun” together was akin to .. a 78yr married couple, I’d guess. Actually, maybe there’d be more wheezing and panting with that couple?
Hell it was awkward. Weird, even!
Next morning, in my attempt to ascertain what had gone wrong, I just upped and asked. “Dude, where’s your manhood?” Ok ok I didn’t say that but I’d guess from his response that I said that for all the words I uttered were slightly less harsh ..
And so it is you suddenly have me standing clad in appropriately (for the weekend I thought we’d planned!?) skimpy red lingerie, bemused, confused .. And frustrated to all heck – with a crying man in my living room.
To prove I am not completely awful.. once he had his lil cry by my clothesline (mm there was a storm out and cry … followed by me coming out to go “WTF?”) I very kindly dropped him back at the train station and bade him ..