Hands up, who doesn’t hold the pickles?

I’m working away today when hunger pangs attack me – as they are wont to do when it’s 2pm and I’ve not had breakfast (shh I know .. I know, it’s all bad) but anyway I wander into the nearest takeaway joint because I want energy (food) and I want it now! So Burger King it is ..

Now maybe I’m a bad person because I see “diet delight” (saladdy things) on the menu but yeah I order a whopper with a side of fries and a side of onion rings AND a coke. Diet coke could give me brain tumours, I’ll stick with sugar vs phenylanalalalaland, thank you very much.

So I sit down to stuff my face in a plasticcy booth surrounded by spotty youths. (I hate school holidays. And being old) with my plasticcy food and I get snotty.

Literally!

You see, there is what can best be described as onion snot dangling it’s way out of my burger. Every bite, it’s there tickling my chin. That lil bit of opaque but annoying “film” that often is attached to slices of onion.

Someone should be hired to remove those slimy bits of .. stuff .. I know that I’d pay $1 more per burger for this.

The 2nd thing that bugs me is the fact that my fries and onion rings come in something called a fry-pod. WHAT THE? Did Steve Jobs buy shares in your company or did some geek get his hands on the marketing material for 2012 – either way, it’s .. weird.

Oh and by the way, I aint stupid – your branded “pods” are way smaller than they used to be. Shame the price isn’t!

Note the snot, dangling from the pod.

I know.
Gross.

YOU weren’t the one served it!!!

By the way those big arsed “things” on the bottom left of the pic? The 2 pieces of pickle I finally gave up on and ejected from my burger. Holy cow they were monsters .. pickles are obviously cheaper than .. everything!

It wasn’t all bad, mind … Because we’re a bit posh (please say that with a frightfully Nigella meets complete knob “tone”, for max. impact) here on our side of the planet, we get garlic aioli with our fries. Not for us the ordinary red glop .. I know .. burn with envy .. I’ll wait.

As well, we get 2 serviettes (TWO!) when handed our tray of plastic food. Impressed? I was. Especially after reading this post by a friend of mine.

However, his blog entry did annoy me somewhat.

Because instead of stuffing my plastic fantastic meal into my face in the 15 mins I had allowed myself to break for a late lunch before running back to work.. I instead sat and PONDERED on my meal for damn near 25 minutes. (He’s getting the Bill in the mail) Yes, I get the irony and he will too 😉

Cos gosh it was awful.

Now I KNOW I am often accused of being a bit of a food snob. And I admit I do not have fast food often. I like good food, I can cook very well and I have sufficient money to fund having nice meals out.. Being lazy today, I didn’t have lunch and so opted for this fast food option.

But really, it was yukky.

I know the cheese is yellow plastic and was at peace with that. But I really “observed” as I ate and I found the tomato unripe and just an attempt at being “red fruit, in a bun”. The lettuce had that “I’ve been cut up in the fridge ever so slightly too long, how’s that taste working for you?” thing going on.

The onion – even allowing for the snot – was limp and rather tasteless. I dare you to get an onion now and take a bite. It wont be tasteless! But put it on the counter and leave it for a day .. now tell me how it tastes? Mm fast … food ..

And the mayo was .. generic mayo that had sat around a tad too long, also. The whole deal sucked and without wishing to sound like a complete wanker .. I’m thinking fast food could well be off the menu for me from now on.

So tell me, do you hold the mayo, pickle, lettuce or anything? If so, what and why?